Half Baked Essex County Council have banned triangular treats!
You may not be aware but I suffer from allergic reactions
to any foodables that are green or triangular in shape. Yes like Her Majesty
who has the corners removed from her cucumber sandwiches I have to insist that
my servant people never serve me anything in that shape. This I can
report came about after I consumed a rather large amount of stolen Dairylea cheese triangles and was promptly
sick. Thus I have to say I agree with half baked Essex County Council who have
banned triangular treats at Castle View School on Canvey Island. This has come about after a
pupil was hit in the eye by a triangular flapjack during a lunchtime food
fight. Dinner ladies at the school were told to cut
flapjacks into squares or rectangles from now on. Errh have squares and rectangles not got
corners too? Are they getting into a flap about nothing? Parents are now
wondering what other potentially lethal foodstuffs may be banned from the school
on account of their shape? One parent wonder if carrot batons will
be prohibited from now on and another suggested it was bad news for broccoli
spears. That will be a ban on Doritos too I guess? I have heard everything now.
Get out the round pastry cutter out Aunty! This is not the first time flapjacks have been
banned for being a dangerous. The Education Secretary, Michael Gove, was
stopped from taking flapjacks (given to him by his wife) into a cabinet meeting
in 2011. He was detained by security at the time and told the flapjacks were a
security risk and they were promptly apprehended. Oh and I did check the calendar
and no it is not April Fools’ Day yet. Talk about taking the biscuit!
I has NO problem withs broccoli bein' banned but Doritoes...OMD...OMD...NOOOOOOOOO! Whats' next? Cheetos????
ReplyDeleteI not very good at geometry but I ain't an idiot and squares do has corners.
Puddles
Reminds HER of John Cleese giving the lesson in defense of fruit wielding muggers....bananas, grapes....etc. I suppose round flat objects sent spinning could decapitate a fellow classmate. Better ban those, too.
ReplyDeleteXXXOOO Daisy, Bella & Roxy
In these parts they only worry about certain food shapes. Say a pop-tart which happened to be nibbled into the shape of a gun. Who knew even a triangle could cause real injuries? lol
ReplyDeleteMOL. No more Doritos for you, Mommy!
ReplyDeleteBOL Molly you're lookin rather constipated there Hahahhahahha! OMD.
ReplyDeleteThe Queen really cuts the corners off her sandwiches??? Too funny!
Waggin at ya,
Roo
Molly
ReplyDeleteWhatever you do...never ever come to visit us. Why you ask? Well our section of North Carolina is called the
Triangle area which is made up of Raleigh, Durham and Chapel Hill. Where 3 of the largest universities are located and a lot of think tank corporations.
MOL
Hugs well rounded Madi your BFFF
Interesting location for you photo today Molly...are you trying to tell us something? I have to wonder how overcooked those 'flapjacks' were for one to be considered dangerous, triangle-shaped or not...Mine are generally pretty soft...Maybe in Great Britain you cook them differently?
ReplyDeleteOh no, not the dreaded triangle! We can surely see that one could get an eye poke from those sharp corners.
ReplyDeleteNice picture Molly! Are you trying to tell us something?
Hugs,
Lily Belle & Muffin
Are you certain no one slipped you a poison laced treat? They might have been playing a cruel joke...like chocolate laxative filled brownies. ;-)
ReplyDeleteHmmm that is odd, perhaps there was a flaw with the flapjacks. Ive made brittish flapjacks before but never cut then in triangles I made squares so I guess thats ok
ReplyDeleteurban hounds
teeeheeeeee! THANK YOU for warning me that April Fools is JUST around the corner, Miz Molly! I best keep my eye on you, for you are liable to slip us a real trick!
ReplyDeleteHugs to you precious Molly. Anita
Food police in action
ReplyDeleteYikes Molly, allergic to food stuffs is not a fun thing!
ReplyDeleteEssex County Council sounds like a bunch of political nuts cases, typical of all world wide useless politicans.
ReplyDeleteYour Pals
the Mad Scots
That must have been one stiff and hard and tough flapjack to cause damage and such an uproar. CRAZY! People are just crazy.
ReplyDeleteBlessings,
Goose
I had to look up what flapjacks were like in your country because over here it is another name for pancakes which are very floppy and couldn't poke anyone's eye out.
ReplyDeleteMillie
This reminds our mom of the time she was substitute teaching in a nearby district. When lunch time came they had Tomato Soup and "GRILLED" cheese Sandwiches... the kids started THROWING the Sandwiches and one actually BROKE A WINDOW beclaws they were so HARD. Must have been like BONES.
ReplyDeleteBUTT we gotta agree with everybuddy else... Squares and rectangles DO HAVE corners. What were those peeps thinking???
oh my goodness. too funny!
ReplyDeleteOh Molly you do not look happy no that toilet bowl. I don't like my greens either.
ReplyDeleteThe only way to be safe is to eat round food. Orb shaped. Even a disk has corners because of it's thickness. You can poke someones eye out with a slice of cucumber.
ReplyDeleteThe next problem to solve is what to do if someone creates a sharp object by using part of the food. An orange is a safe food, until you separate the sections. Then you have deadly, sharp arcs of danger!
These are some serious problems.
I hope you know you have to lift the lid before using the toilet....
OH my! Mom will be cooking french toast on Sunday. We must tell her to make it round, not square so as not to endanger the little grandpeeps that will be coming over to eat. Thanks for the heads up Molly, we did not know that foodables could be so dangerous. BWAHA HA
ReplyDeletehugs
Bailey, Hazel & Greta
I guessed it, the pieces of cheesecake are triangular too :o) Now I know why this bad things happened to me :o) Have a wonderful thursday ... maybe with onion-RINGS?
ReplyDeleteI love greens and Flapjacks :) We all behind Molly, compawter blew up yesterday xx00xx
ReplyDeleteMollie and Alfie
Pretty soon we will all have to walk around in plastic bubbles (like a hamster!) in order to fend off all the dangers this world seems to throw at us!
ReplyDeleteMOL! Silly humans!
ReplyDeletePurrs
Pffft, why don't they just put everyone in a box filled with cotton wool so we will never be in danger again :)
ReplyDeleteDip Bridge and Elliot x
Wishing a very good weekend Molly. We hope you have plenty of good foodables.
ReplyDeleteMolly, Taffy, Monty and Winnie
Pee S. Mum has added you to the auction if you are interested, it is a global affair!!
Well, what next?!? I bet they soon ban these triangle shaped food-stuffs: pizza slices, Toblerone chocolates, turnovers, watermelon slices, scones and candy corn. Good grief!
ReplyDeleteCarrot batons???? Hmmm, not a bad idea, maybe a new weapon we can use against those pesky squirrels.
ReplyDeleteWoos - Phantom, Thunder, Ciara, and Lightning
Oh no! That is not good! So many tasty triangles out there!
ReplyDeleteTriangles are dangerous. You should stick to eating star shaped foods. Those would never poke your eye out :)
ReplyDeleteI never heard about flapjacks before, but I searched on Google and found even a picture of them! So I think these things could be dangerous if the fall on your feet too! It is incredible how many funny stories you tell us, dear Molly!
ReplyDeleteLove
Arno
Dairylea triangles are the best ;)
ReplyDeleteLove the picture Molly- you know how to use that?!
SLobbers
Oh boy...what next? Great pic of you, even if you ARE on the toilet...
ReplyDeleteHave a wonderful Easter!
Elyse and Riley
Good grief! Don't those people have anything better to do???
ReplyDelete*nods wisely* oh yes, we've heard about the dangers of flapjacks - uh-huh. (snicker)
ReplyDeleteIf anyone has any ice cream that is the wrong shape we will dispose of it for you!
ReplyDeleteYour Pals,
Murphy & Stanley
I am a big fan of round food. With round no one gets hurt. Good to know your decision makers are as twisted as ours in the States.
ReplyDeleteWe thinks maybe these people have a little too much time on their hands. Our Mama brought home some new kibble the other day and it is little squares. We heard her tell Daddy it was good for us. But if the squares are broken they could be triangle shaped. That would be dangerous! We're gonna tell mama we want our bad for us food back.
ReplyDeletePurrs,
Cindi Lou & The Kitty Krew
I saw that you didn't like triangles, but wasn't sure why yet lol. I thought maybe it had something to do with their use as evil demonic symbolism by the illuminati ;) Funny, my daughter's school has banned the children from sitting on any of the benches around the campus because one of the children stuck their finger in a hole (they are holey benches) and it got stuck. Now there is yellow caution tape on all of the benches.
ReplyDeleteWe think they should ban throwing food . . . that may be safest! lee and Phod
ReplyDeleteWe don't ban food here, but perhaps when they have taken away everything we can defend ourselves with we can use square flapjacks. :-)
ReplyDeleteBOL we heard about that on the radio - craziness!
ReplyDeleteThe simple solution would be to have all the students wear safety glasses. ;-) Humans sure come up with some crazy stuff, don't they?
ReplyDeleteWrigs would love to attend a food fight!
Susan and Wrigs
Hi Molly,
ReplyDeleteIts health and safety back at work again, nice work if you can get it, whatever will they think of next....pizzas as they can be used as a deadly weapons of mass destruction!