These Amazon Reviews Are Hilarious.
After my wonderful review of Bics' pen for her (here) and Playmobils' reviews (here), we thought we'd go and take a look at at some other great stuff out there with great reviews. So here are a couple of ones for you delectation!
Looking For-Best of David Hasselhoff (Audio CD)
The very epitome of musical godliness.
By A Customer
Twice the ruggedness of mortal man, ten times the talent of any other
artist, Hasselhoff dazzles on this CD. Every track has been plucked from the
heavens and trembles with vigor and force. God Himself could not record as good
a greatest hits album like this, and if He were to listen to all 17 tracks on
this compilation, He would refrain from striking me down for blasphemy. The
song "Hot Shot City" is particularly good.
lowing review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars
David is a pure genius,
By XXXX
After hearing the sweet voice of David Hankipants, I felt like throwing
my disgusted, lifeless body off a tall bridge and plummeting into the deep,
freezing waters below. As I got to song 2, I began to vomit uncontrollably all
over my floor. The torture continued until song 13, at which time I was rushed
to the hospital because my ears had begun to bleed severely. My doctor's told
me I had suffered a severe brain contusion, possibly from dangerous exposure to
ultra-high gamma frequencies aka bad music. When I got home, Scruffy, my canine,
was dead. He had been exposed to Song 4 and scratched his own ears off. As he
lay in a puddle of his own blood, I will never forgive myself for buying David
Hankiman's CD...
We just had to come back to this one again, one of our top ten Christmas gifts for him! How To Avoid Huge Ships! Please note 2nd Edition!
By XXX
A Parents’ Review!
As the father of two teenagers, I found this book invaluable. I'm sure
other parents here can empathize when I say I shudder at the thought of the
increasing influence and presence of huge ships in the lives my children. I
certainly remember the strain I caused so long ago for my own parents when I
began experimenting with huge ships. The long inter-continental voyages that
kept my mom and dad up all night with worry. Don't even get me started on the
international protocols when transporting perishable cargo. To think, I was
even younger than my kids are now! huge ships are everywhere and it doesn't
help that the TV and movies make huge ships seem glamorous and cool. This book
helped me really approach the subject of huge ships with my kids in an honest,
open and non judgmental way. Because of the insights this book provided, I can
sleep a little better and cope with the reality that I can't always be there to
protect my kids from huge ships, especially as they become adults. I'm confident
that my teens, when confronted by a huge ship, are much better prepared to make
wiser decisions than I did. At the very least my children certainly know that
they can always come to me if they have any concerns, questions or just need my
support when it comes to the topic of huge ships.
Have a great day!
I can't stop laughing over the 2nd review of the Hoff's music. Classic!!!
ReplyDeleteSo funny!
ReplyDeleteThanks for bringing to my attention how dangerous huge ships can be - I don't see many here in the mountains but I will keep my eyes open now.
Good morning Miz Molly! Your humor is uncanny, you canine wonder, YOU! teeheee....ain't there a lot of crap out there in the world? YOU FIND IT FOR US to remind us of the silly attempt to get us to believe anything!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteI BELIEVE HOWEVER, IN MIZ MOLLY!!!!!!!!!!
MOL Molly...
ReplyDeleteYou find Kit the Knight Rider's car and you can find David....
OMDs Mom has always wondered about how to avoid a large ship.
Thanks
Hugs your BFFF
Madi
That's hilarious! Glad I visited this morning to get a good laugh :-)
ReplyDeletePiggy kisses,
Katie and Coccolino the mini pig
Really? "Every track was plucked from heave"? I'm thinking heaven might have throwing out the trash. I can't believe I just said that. But there it is, it's out there.
ReplyDeleteBlessings,
Goose
MOL Molly! Humans say the darnest things!
ReplyDeleteTeeheeeheeee! Either some people made a lot of money for saying nice things or they have no taste! Thanks for sharing. Lee and Phod
ReplyDeleteI could have assessed David Hankiepants album accurately without even buying it.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the book link on avoiding huge ships. I need that book, I swear the huge ships are out to get me.
Those are good, Molly! Just can't stop laughing again!
ReplyDeleteHAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAAAAA I snickered until tea came out of my nose.
ReplyDeleteloved the 'ears bleeding' review. :)
ReplyDeleteOh Molly, may be I'm to old but this memories are so funny so I won't be younger today.....laughing is such a Wellnes.
ReplyDeleteWuff and LG
Aiko
Oh Molly you need your own tellie show!
ReplyDeletestella rose and mags
Thanks so much for the NIGHTMARES of Hugh Ships
ReplyDeleteYour scared Pals
The Mad Scots
We shudder at the thought of any parent thinking that a huge ship might come and RUIN their KID. Or something like that. Bwaa-haa-haaa!
ReplyDeleteI had to check this book out at Amazon. Oooh-la-la, it's a VERY expensive book! The advice it gives must be priceless!
ReplyDeleteHi Molly, thanks for the reviews, I know now how to deal with my waste of space neighbours who play the wombles till the early hours, track 4 of David Hanklepants will have them rushed to A&E , and if that doesn't do its Hugh Ship washed up in the sand pit!
ReplyDeleteHow do bipeds come up with these things?!?! Those are great!
ReplyDeletePlay bows,
Zim
Molly these are grrrrreat. We are laughing at the second one.
ReplyDeleteMolly you keep Mama laughing.
ReplyDeleteLOL, I think I would do the same if I had to listen to David Hassle..Have a wonderful Wednesday xx00xx
ReplyDeleteMollie and Alfie
there are some classic reviews on Amazon - we love finding them too
ReplyDeleteOh I wish I were the autor of 2nd comment about Mr. Baywatch..."ultra-high gamma frequencies"... hahaha ... Have a wonderful wednesday with GOOOOD music, Molly ;o)
ReplyDeleteHilarious! Nothing better than outlandish Amazon reviews to start your morning.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.amazon.com/The-Mountain-Three-Short-Sleeve/dp/B002HJ377A
^ that's another funny Amazon review.
Brilliant! We have never bought a David H cd but there are plenty of huge ships where we live on the coast. It is a constant worry that sometime they might grow legs, walk on the land and crush us. The worry keeps us awake at night.
ReplyDeleteDip Bridge and Elliot x
BWHAAA HAARR HAAA! that second Hasselhof review was too funny and oh soo true.
ReplyDeleteBailey, Hazel & Greta
We LOVES the Bic pen review! It reminded us of the reviews for Tuscan Milk a few years ago. Hilarious and tear-inducing!
ReplyDeleteThose are some fascinating products!
ReplyDeletePat
Critter Alley
Molly what is it about The Hoff that makes him such a never-ending source of joy? Just seeing his photo lets me know I'm in for something special :D And huge ships? I'm thrilled that there's finally some help out there
ReplyDeleteLol - wow poor Scruffy!
ReplyDeleteThe 2nd review about DH is hilarious!
ReplyDeleteMolly, you're great! =)
Hugs and kisses!
Kaiser & Farrusquinho
Hey Molly!
ReplyDeleteWow, that weird manpeep must sing horribly! BOL to the dog scratching his ears off. BWAR HAR HAR
Grr and Woof,
Sarge, COP
That second review is a classic, Happy Wordless Wednesday.
ReplyDeleteSheba.
BTW: The crabby girls were all excited about those ocean critters! Thanks for the linkie to that yarn post. BOL Very cool stuff.
ReplyDeleteGrr and Woof,
Sarge, COP
BOL - we are chuckling here not only at the reviews, but at Goose's comment too:) Too funny.
ReplyDeleteWoos - Phantom, Thunder, Ciara, and Lightning
It's amazing what you can find if you take the time to actually read reviews :) Funny.
ReplyDeleteHAH! I find it hard to believe those are real reviews especially the good review of DH's CD. HAH!
ReplyDeleteso much fun reading all the reviews
ReplyDeletelove
tweedles
Molly you make us smile everyday
ReplyDeleteThe huge ships one really had me chuckling, especially the fact it's second edition!! haha
ReplyDeleteBig wags,
Your pal Snoopy :)
Molly, thanks for bringing the problem of huge ships to public attention. Just the other day I was wondering what to do should I encounter one on the way to the grocery store. It's an enormous problem, and I'll sleep better at night knowing there's a how to book on the subject to add to my reference library.
ReplyDeleteHow do you sleep in those rollers?!
Hugs,
Nanina and Poppy Seed
hey Molly ! First great picture you got there ! Mind you Mr.. Knight Rider's Im actually a huge fun of him since Im in the 3rd grade school.
ReplyDelete*BOL* we know we've said it before but really WHERE do you find this stuff!?
ReplyDeleteWally & Sammy
Those sound like some of the spam comments I get on my blog...lol.
ReplyDeleteLOLLLLLL Omd the David Hasselhoff reviews are making us think that perhaps David posted them himself... I mean... "Twice the ruggedness of mortal man, ten times the talent of any other artist..." I believe someone was smoking something when that was written...
ReplyDeleteDavid Hankipants.. HAHAHAHAHA
You are a gem, Molly... You are better than any news outlet available in the world!!
Shelle, Milo, Dixie and Newby,
http://simpaticodreams.blogspot.com/
Gosh, I had no idea huge ships were such a danger..or so difficult to avoid. Thank goodness Captain Trimmer wrote a book about these risky things!
ReplyDeleteThese are great, Molly! Had to look up "How to Avoid Huge Ships" on Amazon, and not only are the reviews hilarious, the book is fetching unbelievably high prices. I guess it's become a collector's item! Somehow I've managed to completely avoid David Hasselhoff's music career, even without an instructional book.
ReplyDeleteSusan and Wrigs