Ranger
here is hosting False Confessional Thursday and so we'd thought we'd join in.
Extract from The Squirrel Diaries , The Trials & Tribulations of Molly The Wally.
Talking Turkey.
Day 360 Park today - chases 3, kills a merry 0.
Not even one in my stocking!
Awoke this morning and ventured into
the sitting room to see my human, sitting puzzled, amongst two black shoes, one
coat hanger, and a hairbrush, all covered in soil. Seems my human was quite upset, as the gifts
had also been wrapped in reindeer motif paper, with accompanying reindeer pooh.
Acted innocent, as last of the cards, with accompanying teeth marks, were
opened and put on the mantle piece. Sat
down and impatiently waited for my gifts. Received the following:-
A Woolen
knitted dog coat in Tango Orange and yellow stripes from Aunty Jean.
A Good Boy Doggy Chocolate Christmas
stocking from DC with a letter reminding me booster jab was due next month.
Assorted
treats and toys from family and friends.
And from my
human,
One
lifetime certificate of adoption for Peruvian Alpaca named Acapoma.
One
biodegradable pet bowl (Do Not Use With Liquid).
One
recycled bike tyre dog collar, in Boris blue.
One 10 kilo
bag of kibbles.
And one bag
of Fido Vegetarian snacks, made from 100% cereal, recycled from the floor of an
eco-millhouse in remote Cornwall.
Couldn’t my human’s friend have set up another
business, and why do we have to be so supportive? Went off to kitchen to sulk
and watch turkeys' bottom. Made a mental note never to write to Santa again.
Or
Awoke this morning and ventured into the sitting room to see my human, sitting amongst lots of presents that I had lovingly selected and bought. Seems my human was very happy, as the gifts had also been wrapped in reindeer motif paper, with accompanying festive candy. The last of the cards,
were opened and put on the mantle piece.