Mollys’ Barking Bakes Brings You, Make a start and show some art on my heart shaped cookies.

Molly The Wally says, make a start and show some art on my heart shaped cookies.

You will need the following for your make a start and show some art on my heart shaped cookies. Get your slave to bring them to you and let's get started.

Ingredients

Makes about 20

40 g butter

40 g sugar

1 pinch salt

½ egg

1/4 teaspoon vanilla essence

100 g flour

Heart Shaped Cookie Cutter

Icing and decorations of your choice, I am going for the pinky bling look!

Preheat oven to 190C, 365F, Gas mark 5.

There once was an old man of Lyme

Who married three wives at a time
When asked, 'Why a third?'
He replied, 'One's absurd!
And bigamy, Sir, is a crime.'

Beat the butter and mix in sugar and salt.

Mix in egg and vanilla and beat until it turns a light yellow (like a good pee on snow).

Add flour in to the batter and mix it together. 

Wrap the dough with plastic wrap and put it in to the refrigerator for 30minutes. Make sure your peoples are not looking as you want it to be a surprise. 

Jim asked his friend, Tony, whether he had bought his wife anything for Valentine's Day.

'Yes,' came the answer from Tony who was a bit of a chauvinist, 'I've bought her a belt and a bag.'

'That was very kind of you,' Jim added, 'I hope she appreciated the thought.'

Tony smiled as he replied, 'So do I, and hopefully the vacuum cleaner will work better now.'

 After 30 minutes roll out the dough. No rolling in smellies today as we are cooking!

You will a big rolling pin, one big enough for some squirrel bashing afterwards!

What do squirrels give for Valentine's Day?

Forget-me-nuts.

What is a vampire's sweetheart called?
His ghoul-friend. 

Cut with the cookie cutters and place on a lightly greased baking tray.

 Lovely little hearts for my heart!

Hmm the nose knows! Looking good!

Bake in the oven for about 15minutes.

Drool while they cool

Cabbage always has a heart;
Green beans string along.
You're such a Tomato,
Will you Peas to me belong?

You've been the Apple of my eye,
You know how much I care;
So Lettuce get together,
We'd make a perfect Pear.

Now, something's sure to Turnip,
To prove you can't be Beet;
So, if you Carrot all for me
Let's let our tulips meet.

Don't Squash my hopes and dreams now,
Bee my Honey, dear;
Or tears will fill Potato's eyes,
While Sweet Corn lends an ear.

I'll Cauliflower shop and say
Your dreams are Parsley mine.
I'll work and share my Celery,
So be my Valentine.

Unleash your artistic side and decorate your cookies. I feel like a Picasso moment!

Let the icing set. 

Give one to your love but save the rest for yourself!

That will be nine for me and one for peeps. Remember we don’t want our peeps getting chubby and too much sugar is not good for them. Enjoy! Think I’ll go off now and paint ‘The Moaning Lisa’ as it is ‘Mischief Monday’! Have a great day!

Mollys’ Barking Bakes Brings You, Swoon Over The Crab Rangoon.

Molly The Wally says make room and get ready to swoon over her crab Rangoon!

You will need the following for your ‘Swoon Over The Crab Rangoon’.

Ingredients

1 (6 ounce) can crabmeat (but not Sarges' Crabby Girls, Beachnut or Shelldon),

6 ounces cream cheese, at room temp,

1/2 tablespoon minced garlic (leave out if you are a vampire),

1 dash Worcestershire sauce,

1/2 teaspoon salt,

1 dash white pepper (achew)

2 beaten egg yolks

3 heaped table spoons of flower flour

filo pastry

Baby cup-cake cases.

Melted butter.

Hmm don’t tell me those pesky dragons are at my back door again?

Preheat oven to 180C - 160C, 350F, Gas mark 4 or the fiery breath of two dragons.

What did the dragon say when he saw St. George?

Oh no not more tinned food!

Where do knights learn to kill dragons?

At knight school.

What did the dragon swallow that made him breathe fire?

A fire engine.

Lightly oil the mini cupcakes cases.

Cut the filo pastry and stack in layers each having been lightly buttered.

Press into the cup-cake cases.

How To Speak Chinese!

I think you need a face lift..................... Chin Tu Fat

Stupid man.......................................... Dum Gai 

Staying out of sight.............................. Lei Ying Lo

I thought you were on a diet.................. Wai Yu Mun Ching?

It's very dark in here............................. Wai So Dim?

Lost in translation!

Hmm I can hear some hissing now.

How can you revive a snake that looks dead?
With mouse-to-mouth resuscitation!

What's a snake's favorite school subject?
Math, because it's an adder!

In which river are you sure to find snakes?
The Hiss-issippi River!

Bake for 8 minutes until golden.

Remove from cases and allow to cool.

Pick over the crab to remove any pieces of shell.

Mix together all the ingredients

Fill each case with the mixture.

Any left over you can just fill the cases without the pastry.

Bake in the oven for 10 minutes.

You know the score, drool while they cool.

Gung Hay Fat Choy!
In China, Every Girl And Boy
Celebrates The New Year
In A Very Special Way
With Fireworks And Dragons,
Coloured Red And Gold
They Welcome In The New Year
And Chase Away The Old!

Eat and Enjoy. Get your slave to clear up any mess you make and don’t forget it is Chinese New Year on the 10^th February, the year of the snake. Have a hissing good time.

And speaking of crabs, don't forget the circus is coming to town Sign Up Here!

with the crabby girls hosting the Freak Show. Speaking of freaks, you can have my pesky dragons, snakes and pandas.

Wow Wednesday indeed as we received this pawsome award from Nerissas' Life. Brilliant we have popped it onto our awards page with gratitude and pride.

Mollys’ Barking Bakes Brings You, Scrummy Yummy, Meatball Christmas Pudding Treats!

Mollys’ Barking Bakes Brings You, Scrummy Yummy, Meatball Christmas Pudding Treats!

You will need the following for your Scrummy Yummy, Meatball Christmas Pudding Treats........

Ingredients

500g/1lb 2oz minced beef, pork, chicken, roadkill or squiggle (a big fat grey one will do).

1 egg yolk

1 tbsp plain flower flour or breadcrumbs or the birds‘ food

1 tsp mustard

I clove garlic

salt and freshly ground black pepper

For garnish,

mozzarella cheese

tomatoes

Parsley or a green (legal) herb of your choice.

Yikes, is that one escaped snowman from Frankies’ place?

Preheat oven to 375 degrees Fahrenheit or gas mark 5.

Combine all ingredients. Mix thoroughly with your paws. Taste to make sure it is seasoned to your taste.

Place in the fridge for half an hour whilst you chase a squiggle.

Shape into small meatballs 1 to 1 1/2 inches in diameter.

Place on baking pans and bake for 20 to 30 minutes. If you're not sure, cut one in half to check or just cut one in half as you can’t wait.

Decorate with mozzarella and tomato and baked for another 5 minutes. 

Wait till they cool. Don’t worry it is cool to drool.

On top of spaghetti,
All covered with cheese,
I lost my poor meatball,
When somebody sneezed.

It rolled off the table,
And on to the floor,
And then my poor meatball,
Rolled out of the door.

It rolled in the garden,
And under a bush,
And then my poor meatball,
Was nothing but mush.

The mush was as tasty
As tasty could be,
And then the next summer,
It grew into a tree.

The tree was all covered,
All covered with moss,
And on it grew meatballs,
And tomato sauce.

So if you eat spaghetti,
All covered with cheese,
Hold on to your meatball,
Whenever you sneeze.

Decorate with green things.

We will discard those later.

I am having mine as a TV dinner.

And as for the green stuff....?

Get your slave to clean it up toot sweet!

Enjoy!

Mollys’ Barking Bakes Brings You Gobble Them Up Turkey Thanksgiving Treats!

MOLLYS’ BARKING BAKES. TODAY WE GIVE YOU Our Gobble THem Up Turkey Thanksgiving Treats!

You will need the following for your Gobble Them Up Turkey Treats ........

Do you ever get the feeling you are not alone?

Ingredients

1 lb (450 grams) minced/ground turkey (variations include squirrel, vole, mouse or any assorted vermin).
1 ¼ cup bread crumbs (steal it off the bird table if necessary).
2 tablespoons grated parmesan cheese (or any other stinky cheese you may like).
1 teaspoon of crushed garlic (optional if you are a vampire).

 Mix all the dried ingredients in a bowl.

Why are you shouting ‘It’s Behind You’?

Using your paws, (make sure they are clean) mix in the minced/ground Turkey. Smell to make sure they are yummy for your tummy.

I can feel I am being given ‘The Evil Eye’!

Why are you laughing? This is serious cooking blog!

Get your slave to clean up the mess.

Divide into four and roll into logs of about 8 inches long and 1 inch in diameter.

Now you are starting to freak me out!

Make into bite sized treats. Bake on a cookie sheet at Gas mark 3 or 325 degrees for 45 to 50 minutes. 

Drool while they cool.

What did you say about an angry looking turkey behind me!

The Thanksgiving Turkey.

By DJack Prelutsky

The turkey shot out of the oven

and rocketed into the air,

it knocked every plate off the table

and partly demolished a chair.

It ricocheted into a corner

and burst with a deafening boom,

then splattered all over the kitchen

completely obscuring the room.

It stuck to the walls and the windows

it totally coated the floor,

there was turkey attached to the ceiling

where there’d never been turkey before.

It blanketed every appliance

and smeared every saucer and bowl,

there wasn’t a way I could stop it

The turkey was out of control.

I scrapped and I scrubbed with displeasure

And thought with chagrin as I mopped,

That I’d never again stuff a turkey

With popcorn that hadn’t been popped.

Hey Ratty Rat shall we try some?

I know never eat with your mouth open.

Refrigerate if there are any left over.

You can pop them back in the cooling oven to dry them out so they keep longer but we never get round to that part.

Delicious! Enjoy!