Wednesday, 8 May 2013

Flog It Blog It, We Got A Dumb Phone!

Molly The Wally & Her Molly Mobile!

We only have a 'Dumb Phone' as the servant is a little too thick to manage with a smart phone. However we hear that people who do have a phone that is more modern than our ancient one can download all kind of apps to make life easier. So today we thought we'd bring you our selection of the 10 stupidest apps that are out there. Hold onto your seats, we so know you are going to want these.

At numero 10 we have.....

'Blow Real Air' App which will convince your iPhone to emit small puffs of air just in case you are too lazy to blow your own birthday candles out.

Do you bump into people while texting? 'Email n Walk' lets your iPhone display the path ahead of you while you type. Can they make a poop detector version? At least that would be useful on our park.

For any moron out there 'Hold The Button' lets you well press a button and hmm just hold it down as long as you can. Now 'Hold Down The Squirrel' may be one I'd like to try.

OK one for those who need to perform a citizens' arrest. 'Respect My Authority' allows you to put an image of a police badge on your screen which you can then flash at some yob who will promptly flash you 'Disrespect Your Authority' back.

For those paranoid about dying try the 'iStetho Adapter' which lets you plug an old fashioned stethoscope into your iPhone and measure your heart rate. Sadly it doesn't tell you where you can find an old fashioned stethoscope.

How about the 'I Love 2 Fart App' available from iTunes? Comes with this great review, 'This is the saddest piece of garbage in the entire store'. A ringing endorsement.

Now for the 'Stealth Sound Grenade'! It will generate a really annoying, ear splitting high pitched sounds that can fry a squirrels' brain from a 100 feet. One for me then!

OK so now we '75+ Gross Sounds' farts, people being sick , say no more. Hmm great if you are in an infantile mood.

Or you could try 'Barf Puke-A-Thon'. Needless to say a must.

And at number one pop pickers it is........

iMussolini. Yes you can access a complete database of audio, video and text from Italys' notorious dictator. It's developer promised to develop a pacifist app called iGhandi.

Happy days with your Smart phone guys ..... pity about the dumb apps. What would you like an app for?
Posted by at 09:00
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50 comments:

  1. Mollie8 May 2013 at 10:01

    We have a dumb phone Molly and we wouldn't know how to use apps. Puking and Farting apps, just too much LOL xx00xx

    Mollie and Alfie

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  2. Castles Crowns and Cottages8 May 2013 at 11:19

    SURELY these apps are all invented by YOUNG, infantile minds! I don't even look for the latest apps, but if I did, I would want one that has videos of dogs, horses and other favorite creatures to keep me happily entertained..like YOU MIZ MOLLY, INSPECTOR EXTRAORDINAIRE!!!!!!!

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  3. Unknown8 May 2013 at 11:21

    I wanna know WHO buys them?! I like the freebie apps and love my Kindle, Pandora, Banking, Pinterst and Skype apps the best!

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  4. 3 doxies8 May 2013 at 11:27

    We has a fone but we dont buy apps...we don't even gets da free ones. But nows dat you has done dis post I htinks I may has to download some. I is really likin' da squirrel apps...what dog wouldnt want those? Nows if they can just make one where treats come out instantly!

    Puddles

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  5. tubby3pug8 May 2013 at 11:56

    Hee hee mom had an old phone forever and now mom is totally in love with her new phone but those apps ar epretty weird. Mom likes the more normal apps kidnle, pinterest, instagram (her fave), and she does vintage radio which is too cool it plays old readio recipes

    urban hounds

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  6. Anonymous8 May 2013 at 12:00

    Hold down the squirrel! LOL! Cupcake would love that one. :)

    I have to admit I was shocked to see some of the ones on your list. Truly makes you wonder if the person creating the app did it trying to be funny or if they really thought they would make money from it. Wow. The world is a very interesting place.

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  7. Cowspotdog8 May 2013 at 12:32

    We like our dumb phone....easy to use...does the job. Of coarse the mom does have an iPad....which she uses as a cup coaster most the time :)

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  8. 2browndawgs8 May 2013 at 12:34

    LOL missed those apps... I do like my flashlight app. :)

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  9. Lovable Lily8 May 2013 at 12:37

    Once again Molly, you've outdone yourself! Those are about the funniest apps we've heard about.

    Mommy said she thing's the dumbest app would be Words with Friends. Butt that's only bcuz she's a sore LOSER all the time!

    Hugs,
    Lily Belle & Muffin

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  10. My Mind's Eye8 May 2013 at 12:46

    MOL Molly maybe your human needs a Smart Car instead of a smart phone
    Laughing out loud in NC
    Hugs Madi your BFFF

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  11. GOOSE8 May 2013 at 12:52

    With all the not so "Smart" people out there I do beleieve these phones will be taking over the world soon.
    Blessings,
    Goose

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  12. AnnStaub8 May 2013 at 12:58

    Lol - I have an android, but don't use tons of apps. Just the usual stuff... Twitter, FB, Instagram... I do have a cool app that's a speedometer to use when I drive my dad's truck. His speedometer is broken so you just have to guess how fast you're going when you drive it.

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  13. Parsley8 May 2013 at 13:07

    Oh...my...gosh! Too funny!! There is an 'Atomic Fart' free app that has different sounds and names for the sounds. LOL I wonder if the paid version would include smells?!

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  14. Sheltie Times8 May 2013 at 13:28

    Dad likes the sports apps, but Mom isn't really into the Apps. Her smart phone mostly helps her remember stuff like lists and calendars.

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  15. ann @ studiohyde8 May 2013 at 13:30

    Molly, it amazes me how you find these things in the first place :)

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  16. Anonymous8 May 2013 at 13:34

    Wow, those really sound like some dumb apps! Are you sure they're for "smart" phones??? I wish there was a "Poop Scoop" app where you could just set your smart phone down in the grass and it would roam all over your yard and pick up the dog poop! Now THAT I would pay good money for!

    Elyse and Riley

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  17. Kat8 May 2013 at 14:23

    Those are some pretty dumb apps indeed! I want whatever the developers were on.

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  18. Brian's Home Blog8 May 2013 at 14:31

    Too funny Molly! That hold button takes it all!

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  19. TexWisGirl8 May 2013 at 15:33

    the old fashioned stethoscope made me lol!

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  20. stellaroselong8 May 2013 at 15:52

    Oh Molly we often don't tell people this but we have a whole house of the dumbs....dumb phone, dumb mom, dumb dad, dumb siblings...and the list goes on and on....i am sorry for being so mean, i didn't sleep well last night.
    stella rose

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  21. Frankie Furter and Ernie8 May 2013 at 15:54

    They have an APP fur PHARTS??? Who knew.

    PeeS WE just ordered your book fur our Kindle.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Sketching with Dogs8 May 2013 at 16:03

    We are pretty sure our human brothers would appreciate some of the less genteel apps you found. It might be fun to use the police badge and force passing strangers to comply with your every whim - get me a cappuccino, or else!
    Dip Bridge and Elliot x

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  23. Two French Bulldogs8 May 2013 at 16:16

    There are some ridiculous ones for sure!
    Benny & Lily

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  24. Anonymous8 May 2013 at 16:31

    I love to fart, eh? :) Sadly, I am going to search for this right now!

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  25. Taryn8 May 2013 at 16:53

    I don't have one of the fancy smart phones. Mine can access the internet, but I've never tried. I figure I already spend too much time looking at a screen. If I start doing it on my phone as well, I'm really in trouble :-)

    Glad the book arrived safe and sound! I hope you enjoy it.

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  26. Scooter8 May 2013 at 16:56

    Hey Molly!
    Wow, peeps really do some strange things don't they! If they just put their minds to better use look where the world might be. I hate to think of all the idiots out there flashing badges and impersonating the police. Yikes. I'd like one that magically opens the refrigerator door for me! That's an app to have!
    Grr and Woof,
    Sarge, COP

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  27. The Army of Four8 May 2013 at 17:13

    I'm fairly sure my mom's iPhone is glued to her somehow. Really.
    Play bows,
    Zim

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  28. Unknown8 May 2013 at 17:27

    I think we need an APP for instant treats!
    Lovies, Miss Mindy

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  29. Lapdog Creations8 May 2013 at 18:00

    Happy Wednesday!

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  30. Fuzzy Tales8 May 2013 at 18:15

    We kind of like the Stealth Sound Grenade for obnoxious adjoining neighbours, when they scream and fight.

    Our human doesn't have a smartphone, either. We don't think it would help her intelligence level (we don't think anything could help, frankly).

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  31. Lakeland adventures with Lola and Milo8 May 2013 at 18:29

    Strange apps for strange people, smart phone/dumb phone they all taste the same BOL

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  32. haopee8 May 2013 at 19:13

    You forgot to mention the one where you get to show off a diamond image to your friends showing how you stupidly bought a useless app that cost about $1000 for the sake of finding some mundane activity to spend it with.

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  33. GizmoGeodog8 May 2013 at 20:32

    Momz had a smart phone for a while and the best app she had was one that made sounds for me like jangling keys and car horns and kitties...but we're back to a dumb phone now and we're both good with that but if i had a wish i want a sqwirrel locator radar kind of app...that would be fun!

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  34. Juno8 May 2013 at 20:44

    Hi Molly! Another funny post! Some humans have nothing else to do?! . We doggies wouldn't waste time ;). ;)

    Momo and Pinot

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  35. Idaho PugRanch8 May 2013 at 20:47

    No smart phone for our Mom -- She has a prepaid tracphone and barely upgraded the phone so she can text if she wants. She thinks an app that would help her win the lottery would be helpful. Then she could retire.
    hugs
    Bailey, Hazel & Greta

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  36. LetterstoAndrew8 May 2013 at 21:08

    I have a lighter app on my last smart phone. It won't actually light anything but you can hold it up at concerts without burning yourself. ;-)

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  37. CATachresis8 May 2013 at 21:26

    Bwahahaha!! I would like an app for putting the bitey on! >^,.^<

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  38. Misaki @ misadventuresofMisaki8 May 2013 at 21:26

    mummy has a smart phone, but alas you have to be smart to use it properly BOL

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  39. Jacobi8 May 2013 at 22:09

    You know, my person got one of those recently too. Now she has one more thing to stick in my face to take the silly things called "photos". Sigh. Does that happen to you too?

    Licks,
    Cobi

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  40. Cathy Keisha8 May 2013 at 22:14

    My peeps have dumb phones too. Heck, we still have a landline. Share should be an app for filling up my food dish. Yeah, I'd like that.

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  41. Jackie Bouchard8 May 2013 at 23:07

    I only have a dumb phone too! Guess I'll have to pass on all those amazing apps. Gee. What a bummer.

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  42. ♥♥ The OP Pack ♥♥9 May 2013 at 00:36

    Too funny, Molly - Mom says she would like to get that poop alert one for the Dadster's phone. No matter how clean the yard is, he always manages to find that one turd to step in:(

    Woos - Phantom, Thunder, Ciara, and Lightning

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  43. Murphy9 May 2013 at 01:16

    Good to know since our pawrents are getting new phones tomorrow!

    Your Pals,

    Murphy & Stanley

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  44. Blog da Pink9 May 2013 at 01:36

    My sis has an IPhone and she buys apps almost everyday! I hope she doesn't buy this kind of apps...
    I need an app that tells mom when I'm hungry instead of doing my loud meowing!!!
    Licks from Pink

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  45. Ruby Rose and the Big Little Angels 39 May 2013 at 03:33

    We would leave a clever comment but my stupid parents are trying to find these apps

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  46. Unknown9 May 2013 at 06:48

    Mom says we have more than enough farting going on in our house - she says it's as if there is competition between us & dad. So...no farting app for us *HURRUMPH*
    Wally & Sammy

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  47. BZ Dogs9 May 2013 at 06:49

    Makes you wonder if we are getting dumber as phones get smarter. :)

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  48. Ziggy Stardust9 May 2013 at 08:03

    I want an app that detects cheese and bacon for me so I can find it and eat it before my family.

    Loveys Sasha

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  49. MarkD609 May 2013 at 15:02

    I just want an app that works, you get a good app, then comes the update, and it doesn't work any more.

    ReplyDelete
  50. Life with Wrigs9 May 2013 at 19:04

    Oh my gosh! We're glad we just have a dumb phone! Now, if someone would just invent an instant intelligence app...

    Susan and Wrigs

    ReplyDelete

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