Wednesday 16 May 2012

Bog Blog I0 Things Not To Do!

Bog Blog by Molly The Wally.

My Top Ten Things I should not do but can't resist.


10 Things I must remember not to do as I am a good dog, well sometimes!

10 I will not roll on dead squirrels, birds or rodents just because I like the way they smell. The smell of rotting carcasses is very unpleasant to my human, although it’s like Channel to me. The stinkier is better school of thought does not go with indoor living. 

9 The sofa, bedspread or human’s legs are not napkins. It is not nice to wipe my face over soft furnishings particularly after eating a tripe dinner. Must remember to use the back of the sofa instead as no one can see me.

8 The rubbish collector is not stealing my stuff and I must not bark incessantly at the bin men. Must remember when no one is looking take the good stuff out of the bin first, it’s only a crime if you get caught.

7 I don't need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm under the coffee table. This should be avoided at all costs when there a hot beverage on top, a lap full of hot tea is not appreciated.

6 I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house, not after. I must not bound upstairs and dry myself on the bed or the carpet. Carpet cleaner and dry cleaning costs are just another unnecessary expensive.


5 The cat is not a toy so when I chase him and he runs away it usually means he doesn’t want to play. I must remember that cats have feeling too, but usually feelings of revenge. Be on guard at all times for potential feline intruders.

4 I must not boycott shampoo and then demand the real pooh! Rolling in such stuff is not acceptable behaviour and will only result in bath-time. Running out into the garden to roll in the flower bed after a bath is not appreciated as is shaking ones’ self dry all over my human.

3 I must not rip the mail out of the letter box as soon as the postman has delivered it. However it is OK to snatch the junk mail and give the deliverer a fright. Ripped up junk mail should be put into the bin, only after it has been secretly emptied of any potential snack.

2 I must not drink from muddy puddles and then lay down in them for a mud bath. Drinking from the toilet bowl is also real no no, as is jumping up to lick water straight from the tap. Continuing on the water theme tipping over my drinking bowl for fun is not a good move as out comes the dreaded mop.

And lastly

1 I must not eat grass and then go and be sick on the lounge carpet. I am not a cow so therefore green things should be avoided. Hiding behind a tree trunk to eat grass no longer works so need to be more inventive.

Remember it’s only a crime if you get caught, so be sly, be cunning, be devious and then you can sit smugly polishing your halo! What the eye doesn’t see, you can do with glee but when the eyes are a looking there will be trouble cooking. So endeth the law according to Molly and don't forget your human is for life, not just for Christmas!,.

23 comments:

  1. BOL. So far I am only guilty of #9. Does that make me a good dog?

    ...Whisky

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    1. Oh Whisky what a good dog you are. I of course am guilty of all of the above! I have a bit of a reputation. As you are so good I suggest your human gives you a well deserved treat and a pat on the head.
      Best wishes Molly

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  2. Ah, there's nothing better than tripe! You can roll in it first, then eat! Double fun! And if you want to go even one better, give your human a big wet kiss after the tripey meal!

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    1. Hi Taryn pukka suggestion, my human may not love it but I would. By the way top tip ,tripey meals smell even better when they been in the hot sun for a bit.
      Best wishes Molly

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  3. Hi Molly, my fav is nos 5,a good cat chase is so much fun.
    Licks from Pips

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    1. Hi Pips , no 5 is a good one and as mentioned before in my boredom busting blog, leave the back door open and wait till the feline intruder has entered the premises, then take it by surprise and go for it, you'll have the whole run of the house, just watch the scaredy cat go!!!!!! My pad my rules!
      Best wishes Molly

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  4. We had to MOL at number 5! Indeed, we have claws and we know how to use them! Revenge indeed!

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    1. Rykers Boyz N Allie, too right, all is fair in love and war! It's the chase that counts and cats are clever enough to get away all day long. My local ones just give me that look that says Dahhh. I chase, they just sit on a fence and give me the two finger salute!!!!!!
      Best wishes Molly

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  5. Replies
    1. Thank you Jessej and have a god day.
      Best wishes Molly

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    2. opps that was good day not God day as it's not Sunday.
      Best wishes Molly

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  6. Hey pal, number 8 and 5 are my personal faves!! I HATE the garbage man and that darned mailman!!

    I have a kitty brother who in 5 yrs has never bared his claws at me...but ya never know!

    Thanks for the tips! Love, Dakota

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    1. Hiya Dakota we just love to chew and chase and bark. I don't have a pet cat so I just chase em. Beware of claws as i suspect they can look after themselves. Glad so far you and yours are friends.
      Best wishes Molly

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  7. All the 10 things are so important, Molly.
    Thanks for sharing :)
    Have a nice day, dear friend.
    Woof, woof,

    Chicco

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  8. Hi Chicco
    Thank you and woofs and licks too.
    Best wishes Molly

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  9. Love the list of 10 things, Betty could learn a thing or two, don't tell her about the whole its not bad as long as you don't get caught though....

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    1. Hi Betty thank you for your kind comment.
      Best wishes Molly

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  10. Here's a tip - save one side of the couch for rubbing your face and the other for sleeping! Bawhahahaa! Love this list.

    Your pal, Pip

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    1. Mr Pip
      Good idea that way my human can sit on the dirty side!
      Best wishes Molly

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  11. "then go and be sick on the lounge carpet"?! heeheeheeheehee! sooo funnery! love pdorg xox

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    1. Hi Posie
      That's the one that really gets my human annoyed but Spring grass just tastes so good!
      Best wishes Molly

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  12. BOL! We came over to you through Roxy's award! Congrats and very funny stuff!

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    1. Hi Finn! Don''t you look cute. Thank you for your kind comments. There is always fun stuff here. Will pop over to your blog and take a look.
      Best wishes Molly

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