Monday 7 January 2013

Dog House Blog, Our Top Ten Desperate Diets!

Molly The Wally & That Diet!

Molly The Wallys’ Top Ten Desperate Diets!

After the Christmas and New Year festivities are over we always feel we should start eating more healthily and maybe drop a bit of weight. So we thought we’d take a look at some of the more bizarre diets that have been and gone through history.

The gut wrenching awful diet.

Favoured by the opera singer Maria Callas you’d need some guts to swallow the tape-worm pill. You’d swallow the pill, gorge yourself silly and once your weight had reached the desired goal you’d take another pill to kill of the worm. No thank you!

Something to chew on.

Try Flecherism! This was an Edwardian hit and was favoured by the likes of Franz Kafka and J D Rockefeller. You chewed each morsel of food a certain number of times. For example a shallot took 700 chews and flake of cereal a little less. When you had reduced your mouthful to nothing more than a woody fibrous remnant, having swallowed all the juice, you simply spat out what was left. Not recommended when eating in public.

In a pickle.

Lord Byron when not being a great romantic stuck to a diet of biscuits and soda water or potatoes soaked in vinegar. This he would follow with a binge meal and a large dose of milk of magnesia. He was an obsessive dieter but despite the fact that he knew it made him ill he continued with this regime until he died pickle no doubt. We give this one a big paws down.

Arsenic and old lace.

The Victorians were into their drugs in a big way and diet pills were all the rage. Many were harmless made of lard and soap but some were lethal. Arsenic and strychnine were known to speed up the metabolism and were frequently used with tragic results. Dead stupid if you ask me.

A Sleeping Beauty.

You can’t eat while you sleep. So if you sedate yourself for days and do not eat, this starvation diet may actually work. Elvis was a proponent of this weight loss. I sleep all day and night and I can tell  you no it doesn’t work.

Would you wool?

The cotton ball diet lets you eat as many cotton balls as you like. You can eat them dry or soaked in gelatin. Low in calories but very filling you won’t want to eat anything after one of these meals. The cotton balls are also high in fiber, which should be good for you until you realize it’s not the right kind of fiber you need. Yep, not the right kind of balls for us too. Anyone for tennis?

One grunt or two?

This diet is also called the caveman or Paleolithic diet because it is based on food available to this  era, 10,000 years ago. The foods are those available to gatherers and hunters at the time. Food can be cooked. Most participants will be limited to lean meat, fish, vegetables, fruit, roots and nuts. Anyone for a dinosaur burger?

Go to Spec Savers.

The theory is if your food looks disgusting, you will be less likely to eat it. So why not buy a pair of vision-dieter glasses? Johnny Depp is a big fan of these blue glasses, but we think he just likes the look. We think you will have the blues if you try this one.

Booze to loose.

The logic followed that it was food that made you fat, and what better way to curb your appetite for food than with loads of booze. In the 1950′s books such as ‘The Drinking Mans’ Diet’ and ‘Drink, Eat, and be Thin’ encouraged people to drink alcohol to lose weight. Opps we think this will only work in conjunction with the sleeping beauty diet.

Smoke gets in your eyes.

Lastly we bring you the cigarette diet which was all the rage in the 1920s. Smoke yourself silly as these were supposed to suppress the appetite. It is still popular with models and Hollywood celebrities. However it is bad for your health and you’d probably get pneumonia from having to stand outside in bad weather.

Would you try any of those? I will stick to chasing squirrels, thank you.


  1. The booze to loose sounds better then most!, hee hee but I have to say I think these diets wont be working

    urban hounds

  2. oops I commented on the wrong post - was only saying 2012 was my nail biting diet, you bite them as much as you like as long as you don't eat anything else - 2013 resolution is to stop biting my nails so I am bound to put on weight unless I find someone elses nails to bite. Betty x

  3. Interestlingly enuffs, da Paleolithic diet is comin' back to be all da rage nows.
    Hehehehe and I has heard bouts da tape wrm diet...mum and da vet man was talkin' bout it da udder day...and then mum threw up.
    Me, I'll stick to da beer diet. I find I has had goos results with it so far.


  4. If we had to pick one, we vote for the booze one. It at least sounds yummy! Have a great day and don't eat the cotton balls! Lee and Phod

  5. Woowzers...those are some crazy diets - Sammy & I like to stick to the more healthy option of exercise (walks, zoomies etc), lots of veggies (carrots & green beans especially) and only 1 treat a day (we have not say in this particular aspect of our diet).

    Wally & Sammy

  6. Mommy has tried all of those except booze and she says none of them works. Having surgery did it for her but that's kinda extreme.

    Happy M<onmday..........{{{huggies}}}......Mona

  7. Molly darlin', I am with you. Chasing ANYTHING at top speed and with enthusiasm boosts the metab, gives you a healthy appetite for LIVING and even allows you a treat or two, in moderation. Let's go back to the old London 60s movement, THE MODS....everything in MODErATION!

    You are just so darn cute.

  8. The great granny of my mom tried the Flecherism as she was a teenager... till she got a slap from her dad, and he told her she would look like a ruminating cow ;o)
    I suggest the chocolate-truffle diet ;o)

  9. I'm afraid none of these options would work for us. Maybe if we had to eat dog food only we'd loose weight. Ha!

  10. We would have to be on the Stop the Humans Diet! Stop them from feeding us too many treats! Oh wait, we like treats..... That ain't gonna work!

    Lily Belle & Muffin

  11. I think I'll just up my exercise rather than choose any of these.....

    Except....the caveman diet actually works quite well, and is very tasty.

  12. Uh....I's still thinkin bout #1. Got stuck on that one and couldn't concentrate on the others. YUCK!

  13. Hi Molly, I'll just stick to my extra lite kibbles and carry on long walkies, the only diet I'll try out is the caveman diet just meat no extras!

  14. The worm diet?!!! Worms are for fish not for diets. Gross.

  15. Interesting....I think I will stick with what I do....just eat what I want....

  16. Wow Molly, these sound tough!! I think I'd rather stick to eating what I like and just running it off!! :)

    And of course you don't need to diet cos you always look in amazing shape! :)

    Hope you're having a fun day :)

    Your pal Snoopy :)

  17. Yuk! none of them for us please, will stay with junk food junkies diet!

    Your Pals
    Susie & junkie food Bites

  18. i enjoyed this post very much. we humans are very vain and can try all sorts of odd things to get to 'beauty'. :)

  19. My dear Molly,
    now Mom has no excuses anymore and any longer! She must get fit just trying all your wonderful diets! Thank you very much! ;)
    Nice regards

  20. Kinda liking that booze to lose idea, BOL
    Benny & Lily

  21. Woowee...those are some disgusting sucks at dieting..she says she likes liviets better...huh??????? anywho we eat lots of vegg and fruits.....pugs are just round though!
    stella rose

  22. We showed these diets to mom since she is on a diet and she said "Ain't no way!"

    Keep Calm & Bark On,

    Murphy & Stanley

  23. You forgot the one about a certain orange kitten STEALING your food. While I'm eating even!!!
    ; ) Katie

  24. These are very interesting... Ernie is on the Stuffie GUTS diet. He Field Dresses a stuffie and then eats a bit of the guts... as a bit of a PERK it Makes fur interesting poops.

  25. No thank you! I will just continue to chase balls to keep my girlish figure!
    Lovies, Miss Mindy

  26. Molly
    Thanks fow that laugh hoomans will do the most bizawwe things to lose silly just wun awound and chase balls ow go fow climbs like we do Mommi in hew yoof, twied all sowts of silly things , like the gwapefwuit diet , the Atkins diet etc. in hew old age she has conclooded that all of them wowk, but awe useless unless it's a lifestyle change that you can stick to. She says weight watchews is hew favowite cause you can eat nowmal foods, and be wif fwiends and have pawties , just leawn pawtion contwol and eat healthiew things and not all the stoopid snack foods and pwepawed stuff...fwesh ingwedients, cooked wif love and eaten wif westwaint is hew concloosion and I agwee
    smoochie kisses

  27. Chewing. What is "chewing"?
    Play bows,

  28. Wow January brings on diet fever, but I think I'll pass on these.

  29. I'm still young and growing so no dieting for me. I will stick to my workout plan of lots of digging in the snow for the winter.


  30. We are thinking our human brothers would choose the alcohol and cigarette diet!
    Dip Bridge and Elliot x

  31. OH MY DOGS Molly
    We are a tad late today...the mom has been celebrating most of the morning.
    Mom is on a seafood diet....any food she sees she eats. MOL
    Hugs Madi

  32. I just keep the humans fit and trim by going bat crazy anytime they don't take me on a walk. Gets them out and about in no time!


  33. Misaki guest post fantastic..Me next :) I don't think we will be doing the dring Hugs Molly xx00xx

    Mollie and Alfie

  34. Riley says she'll just stick with her kibble diet...those all sound a bit extreme to us...! :)

    Elyse and Riley

  35. Molly, we'll stick to hiking. Those are some truly wacky diets!

    Susan and Wrigs

  36. Ugh, we don't thinks we like any of these. Other than our portly brother Maxx, we're all lean and fit. He needs to hit the treadmill with Mom...*what?*

  37. Those are very interesting indeed. I will stick to no diet!

  38. I think I will steer clear of these diets...YIKES!


  39. Que dietas loucas!!!
    Deixe-me com meus quilos a mais!!! kkkk

    Beijos Molly e maravilhosa semana *-*

  40. Mom and dad have done the caveman one a bit. This would be my personal favorite; I just love meats and veggies :) Actually, that is pretty much all I eat...I think I am on this diet too!

  41. Gizmo here sayin' i'd like mom to do the caveman diet cuz it sounds lots of meat for me...Gizmo's mom here totally yucked out by the tapeworm diet and the cotton ball diet...with fletcherizing wouldn't all those jaw workouts burn some calories? LOL

  42. I think the cotton wool one sounds kinda yummy... BOL
    Love Milo :)

  43. Oh dear...not for us. We'll stick to walking and being fluffy!

    Wyatt and Stanzie

  44. Oh Molly, you crack me up! Well, my assistant hasn't managed to stick to the diet she started January 1st so maybe she should give one of these a try ...bawhahhahaha! The Spec Savers might just work for her ...she can't see a thing without her glasses so maybe if I pulled the old switch-a-roo and replaced her glasses with one of the diet glasses!

    Your pal, Pip

  45. How interesting! I think Daisy will stick to kibble and we'll stick to healthy foods. :)

  46. Hmmm, Mama says the booze diet no works. She says you gets the munchies after you has dranked too much! Not that I would know.... although Puddles would.....


  47. No wonder people don't get the results they want with diets like those.
    Thanks for being a friend
    Sweet William the Scot

  48. Hi Molly, Happy New Year!
    Ooooh. What a helpful post. Just when our pawrents wanted to put us on a post-holiday diet (= a few kibble less than usual), we read this to them and now they've backed down. Success!! Thanks a bunch!!!
    Your furbuddies,
    Joules and Prescott

  49. Interesting, but I will stick to the "just give me food and I will eat it diet". It is easy to follow and everyone is happy.

    Loveys Sasha

  50. Molly those are awful! Especially the tape worm pill - too much BOL
    Now that I think about it though, some prehistoric meaty bones might be pretty appealing ;)

    Waggin at ya,

  51. I remember hearing about the chewing your food 100,000 times diet. :) Sounds so silly.

  52. Those diets are yuck yuck YUCK!!! I'll stick to my boring kibbles!!!


  53. None of them are appealing to me, although I seriously considered the cotton balls. Doesn't everyone need more fiber?

  54. Eek, those are some scary diets!

    You're right, though. If there was a pill, I'd probably take it.

  55. I have never heard of Fletcherisim. I sometimes wish I had a tapeworm though :)

  56. We're going to try the sleep diet right now! We're going to sleep now and wake up 3 days later. Zzzzzz...

    Togo, Tagar & Gamby

  57. It was dog food. Beef livers with onions in a can. You open it up and it looks like vomit.