Happy St Patrick's Day To All!

I feel a diddly diddly coming on.............

Now Delaney had a donkey that everyone admired,
 Tempo'rily lazy and permanently tired
 A leg at ev'ry corner balancing his head,
 And a tail to let you know which end he wanted to be fed
 Riley slyly said "We've underrated it, why not train it?"
 Then he took a rag
 They rubbed it, scrubbed it,
 They oiled and embrocated it,
 Got it to the post
 And when the starter dropped his flag
 There was Riley pushing it, shoving it, shushing it
 Hogan, Logan and ev'ryone in town lined up
 Attacking it and shoving it and smacking it
 They might as well have tried to push the Town Hall down
 The donkey was eyeing them,
 Openly defying them
 Winking, blinking and twisting out of place
 Riley reversing it,
 Ev'rybody cursing it
 The day Delaney's donkey ran the halfmile race.

 The muscles of the mighty never known to flinch,
 They couldn't budge the donkey a quarter of an inch
 Delaney lay exhausted, hanging round its throat
 With a grip just like a Scotchman on a five pound note
 Starter, Carter, he lined up with the rest of 'em.
 When it saw them, it was willing then
 It raced up, braced up, ready for the best of 'em.
 They started off to cheer it but it changed its mind again
 There was Riley pushing it, shoving it and shushing it
 Hogan, Logan and Mary Ann Macgraw,
 She started poking it, grabbing it and choking it
 It kicked her in the bustle and it laughed "Hee Haw!"
 The whigs, the conservatives,
 Radical superlatives
 Libr'rals and tories,
 They hurried to the place
 Stood there in unity,
 Helping the community
 The day Delaney's donkey ran the halfmile race.

 The crowd began to cheer it. Then Rafferty, the judge
 He came to assist them, but still it wouldn't budge
 The jockey who was riding, little John MacGee,
 Was so thoroughly disgusted that he went to have his tea
 Hagan, Fagan was students of psychology,
 Swore they'd shift it with some dynamite
 They bought it, brought it, then without apology
 The donkey gave a sneeze and blew the darn stuff out of sight
 There was Riley pushing it, shoving it and shushing it
 Hogan, Logan and all the bally crew,
 P'lice, and auxil'ary,
 The Garrison Artillery
 The Second Enniskillen's and the Life Guards too
 They seized it and harried it,
 They picked it up and carried it
 Cheered it, steered it to the winning place
 Then the Bookies drew aside,
 They all commited suicide
 Well, the day Delaney's donkey won the halfmile race.

Happy St Patrick's Day to all.