Share It Sunday, Mkclinton!

The Wages of a Working Dog?

   Bentley and I were discussing life things the other day.  Actually, the conversation started when he took my spot on the couch.  He knows that if he refuses to move, I will bribe him with a treat.  We go through this routine two or three times every day.  I tried to explain to him that I shouldn’t have to pay him to move.  This is how the conversation progressed.

Me: “I shouldn’t have to pay you to move from my spot.  You should do it because I asked.”

Bentley: “You are lucky that you don’t have to pay me for all of the different jobs I do around here.  It’s not easy being a working dog.”

Me: “You don’t work.  Mostly you lay around looking cute and mooching belly rubs.”

Bentley: “Wow!  Way to be insensitive Mom.  I’ll have you know that it would cost you a fortune to hire or buy all of the services that I provide you.  Let’s take a quick look at my jobs.

1.  Guard Duty: Do you know how much those humans make to sit or stand guard at

"I am teaching Pierre the art of being
a guard dog."

            a business?  I don’t want to tell you how many times that we’ve almost come under attack by sanitation workers, mail carriers, and small humans riding bikes.  If I didn’t bark at them, we’d surely all be dead by now.”

2.  Exterminator: What about all of those creepy bugs and lizards that I have trapped and killed for you?  Where’s my compensation for that unpleasant job?  You won’t even let me eat what I killed.

3.  Dishwasher: Think how much you save by me pre-cleaning your dishes.  All of that stuck-on food would take some elbow grease for you to remove.  I don’t even complain that you ate all of the food in front of me.

"I motivate you to exercise."

  4.  Personal Trainer: If you hired someone to get you moving each day, well, you couldn’t afford it.  Selflessly, I urge you to get outside and walk.  Should I mention the squats I get you to do every time that you brush me?  That is great for building leg strength.  Maybe I could bring in some cash with an infomercial DVD.

  5.  Seat Filler/Warmer: There are times that I climb on the couch and it is cold.  I use the warmth of my Basset Hound body to generate heat resulting in you having a comfy, cozy place to sit.

6.  Greeter/Social Director: I am always the first one to the door to greet our guests.  I welcome them; sniff them for any food bombs, and other dogs.  After

"I made my Uncle A feel
at home."

 they prove to be okay, I lead them to the living room 
     then, I stay and work the crowd with a few tricks. 
     Let’s face it; I have saved more than one social event from being humdrum.  Humans bring in the big bucks 
     for entertainment gigs.

7.  Floor Sweeper/vacuum: Take a look at our floors.  Do you see food crumbs or spills anywhere?  Nope, that’s because yours truly is ever vigilant about immediately removing any food or beverage the instant it hits the floor.  I have total disregard for the 5-second rule.

8.  Personal Wake-Up Service: Have I ever let you oversleep?  Do you remember when you and Dad worked?  Y’all set that stupid alarm clock to wake us up 4:30 a.m. for years!  Who was it that pawed you and licked your face when you hit the snooze button?  Most folks can’t afford a personal wake-up service and if they can, they usually just get a phone call.  Very few of the humans you’d have to pay to make sure that you are awake on time offer licks.

9.  Companion: Let’s face it, hiring someone to accompany you around for the day is expensive.  How many times have I shown you around the neighborhood, pet store, and the riverfront?

10.Baby Sitter: I know the kids are grown now, but when they lived at home, who kept an eye and ear out for them when you left?  I don’t think I have to remind you about the things teenagers can get into when left alone.

"Let me investigate this suspicious box
of great pet treats!"

11. Inspector: Has anything entered this house over the past seven years that I have not given a close inspection?  I can answer that with an unequivocal ‘no.’  I haven’t let so much as a small box or bags make their way inside without giving it the ol’ Basset Hound sniff-a-roo.

12. Gardener: There is no way to count the holes that I

"I do so much to help around the yard."

have dug for you.  I have dug up hundreds offlowers weeds without being asked.  I also make my own fertilizer that you insist on removing and I aerate the grass.  When times are tough, I’ll even eat some of the grass to keep it level.

      

"I'm here for you, Mom!"

       13. Psychiatrist:I guess this is my most important job.  Most psychiatrists charge by the half hour and you don’t even want to know what they charge!  I listen to you, give you a shoulder to cry on, kiss it all better, and when we are through with our sessions, you feel 100% better.

        So, as you can see I work 24/7 and never see a single dime.  It is a good thing that I love you so much that I’m willing to work free.  Actually, if humans had to pay for all of their dog’s services rendered each day, nobody could afford us.”

Me: “Gosh Bentley, I never realized how much you do in a single day.  It’s no wonder that you need so many naps.  You can just stay in my place on the couch; I’ll bring you a treat.  I am such a lucky pet mom.”

Bentley: “Heh, heh, heh!  I almost feel guilty about playing on Mom’s emotions.  She is such a softie and I know all of her buttons to push!  Anyway, it’s hard to feel guilty when I get a treat hand-delivered!”

Me: As you can see, sometimes it doesn’t make sense to try and reason with a Basset Hound.

How about you?  Does your dog or cat steal your spot on the couch?  Are there any other jobs that you can think of that our pets perform on a daily basis?  Leave some barks below and thanks for dropping by the Bayou!

Mkclinton!

Continuing to give something back on my 'Share It Sunday'. We all share and we grow together. Pop over and say hello and make a new friend.

From the author Molly The Wally.

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