Hog Blog Tacky Tea Towel Tragedy!

Diamond Jubilee Memorabilia Goes On Sale.

Queen throws in the £8.95p tea towel over Jubilee souvenir... and it's now expected to be a best-seller. Originally they were deemed too tacky for last year's Royal Wedding, and banned from the stocks of official memorabilia. Strict Royal protocol means that the tea towel cannot bear the Queen's image, so instead it features my good self in suitable regal pose. Mrs. Windsor herself has stated, ‘that one hopes to use them at home whilst washing-up after the Corgis have had their dinner’. Other Jubilee mementoes, including a £250 teapot and a £145 charger plate, are expected to generate hundreds of thousands of pounds. The accompanying advertising campaign will show The Queen having tea with the cast of ‘The Only Way Is Essex’ and ‘The PG Tea Chimpanzees. My sources at Molly Media have informed me that the chimpanzees were very well behaved unlike ‘Towies’ who with their white stilettos left pot marks all over the parquet and fake tan all over the upholstery.