Saturday 22 September 2012

Dog House Blog, Dirty Digging!

Molly The Wally does some dirty digging!

Moles take over the garden after the worst Summer this decade.

First we had the invasion of the slugs and snails, quickly followed by the assault of the moths and now British gardeners are bracing themselves for more trouble down at the allotment. After the wettest summer in a century it is the turn of the moles. A surge in the hard working diggers is threatening to destroy thousands of lawns up and down the country. Golf courses, parks and farmers' fields are being ravaged, according to experts.  The summer rain has created perfect breeding conditions and males have found they could easily dig tunnels to find mates with the ground being so soft. Holy Moley we are overrun with vermin and it is dis-mole how much damage they can do. They are right pain in the grass! Legendary remedies for getting rid of moles include blowing wind down their tunnels, pouring paraffin into their burrows and even doing special dances on the turf above their heads to drive them away.  How do you stop moles digging up your garden? Hide the spades or why not try a Mole-otov cocktail?

A family of moles had been hibernating all winter. One beautiful spring morning, they woke up. The father mole stuck his head out of the hole and looked around. "Mother Mole!" He called back down the hole. "Come up here! I smell honey, fresh made honey!" The mother mole ran up and squeezed in next to him. "That's not honey, that's maple syrup! I smell maple syrup!" The baby mole, still down in the hole, was sulking. "I can't smell anything down here but mol-asses!"

Do you have critters that terrorize your territories?

36 comments:

  1. Mom has always said she thought moles where so cute, we are not sure

    urban hounds

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  2. Squirrels and Ground Hogs....They eat all my baby, green tomatoes! So much so that I didn't even bother with planting any this year!

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  3. BOL! Great mole joke Hahahahhahha mol-asses Hardy Har Har!

    I'm kinda fond of the mole-otov coctail myself. Luved the Caddy Shack movie. Bill Murray is my hero! :D

    Waggin at ya,
    Roo

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  4. We have a bazillion mice and pigeons.... you can try a molecular bomb :o)

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  5. Oh Miz Molly, YOU IS BAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    That last bit....omg, you are just SO FUNNY!

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  6. Bawhahhaha. I think the United Kigdom should hired Puddles to deaded the mole. They would be gone in no time.
    Blessings,
    Goose

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  7. I agree with Goose--sounds like a job for Puddles! Mice and pack rats LOVE it here. They really appreciate the luxurious rodent accommodations we've provided.

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  8. Mol-asses..You just crack us up...I like little moles but not digging in my garden.. Have a great Moley Saturday Molly xx00xx

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  9. Have fun digging! My mom never allows me to dig : (

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  10. Hey Molly!
    Wow, this post is full of chuckles! BWAR HAR HAR I'd love to help bash a few of them. That's great sport. I'll be moleing over a few new bashing techniques! Hah.
    Grr and Woof,
    Sarge, COP

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  11. That was so funny! Sometimes we have Army Worms! My Dad says he can hear them marching. Funny thing is though, he wears hearing aids! BOL!
    Lovies, Miss Mindy

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  12. OMD OMD..... Ernie and I have to battle the MOLES all the time... We have to GWALK A MOLEY EVERY day!! They are TERRIBLE Creatures. I CAUGHT ONE once... DAD was Very Much PROUD of me.

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  13. mol-asses- you are such a funny one, Molly. Thanks for the chuckle today!

    Woos - Phantom, Thunder, Ciara, and Lightning

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  14. Wow. I think Goose is right, Call in Puddles.

    Shelle, Milo, Dixie and Newby,
    http://simpaticodreams.blogspot.com/

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  15. Oh dear - you are just sooooo funny :D Mole-asses indeed!

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  16. "Mole-asses". Ha roo roo roo!!!
    Play bows,
    Zim

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  17. Hi Molly,

    That gives a whole new meaning to the word LOVE TUNNEL, no idea those furry little things were so loved up in the dark! I shall never look at a mole again in the same light!

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  18. hahaha.... Miss Molly! This is funny!

    Momo & Pinot xo

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  19. "Mol-asses!!!!" that goes with Dakota's post today!!! lol!!! You should take the "ASS" award!!! lol!!

    I also love "mole-tov cocktail!!"

    Happy Saturday!

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  20. Y E S DO HAVE TERRORIST IN YOUR 'HOOD...THEY ARE CALLED
    SQUIRRELS OR BUSHY TAILED RODENTS. MOM SAYS THEY ARE PART BEAVER AS THE LIKE TO KNOW ON OUR DECK BENCHES TOO.
    HUGS MADI
    YOUR bfff

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  21. Hello dear Molly,
    Oh gosh, it's a really serious problem, no fortunately we don't have any creatures that terrorize our territories, we have only two small frogs in our garden :)
    Have a nice weekend,
    Woof, woof,

    Chicco

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  22. We don't have moles here! Well, at least not in our garden. And thank goodness for that!
    We do currently have a very pesky colony of whiteflies that's hurting our plants and making Mommy say a lot of unmentionable words. Would you have any idea on how to get rid of them?

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  23. Mummy is fighting a loosing battle with slugs, she went on a rampage with the salt, but they have called in reinforcements:-(

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  24. BOL! bOL! I know a couple of behinds that are stinky too!

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  25. That ending Cracked us up, Molly strikes again with a SPOT ON REPORT!!!. How about we send you some tree rats to send down the holes for some gang war stuff, maybe we git rid of both, Heeheehee!!!

    You Across The Pond Furends
    Princess Susie & Recliner Bites

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  26. OMD you need help. Do you know if moles are good to eat?? I could work up some recipes if you can start catching them. Have you thought to send down an invitation to a mole party in their honor. When they get there all dressed up and like ok lets party then SMACKO, SQUISHO, DEADED!.Now on to the barbecue for the Queen.

    Let me know if you need help cooking.

    Loveys Sasha

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  27. I have never seen one of those critters. I hope they don't sneak up to our house and eat the flowers.

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  28. I have moles, possums & skunks that come into my territory!

    Nubbin wiggles,
    Oskar

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  29. I'm a good hunter, but I've never seen a mole! We have awful possuns here and they aren't fluffy, they're like big rats! I think it's better to be friend of those critters...
    Licks from Pink

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  30. We just have squirrels but we have a friend in Germany who has mole problems today. Hope they don't hop on a boat or dig to our side of the world.

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  31. Those annoying lizards always tease me :(
    Cotton

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  32. You go get them Molly!

    Its that time of the year now where Spiders are coming in...we play with them a bit then let them go, much to the dismay of mum!

    Slobbers

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  33. Molly we did love the joke!! I had a guffaw or two! We don't have moles where I live but we do have loads if bunnies (which for some inexplicable reason She won't let me chase!) and they do serious damage to our playing fields, crops etc. me, I don't mind them - in fact, I LOVE trying to hunt them down when She isn't looking!!

    Woof

    Groucho

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