Getting my Santa Begging letter off early this year!
Date Today!
From Molly The Wally
Suburbia!
Dear Santa Paws,
I can explain any incident of naughtiness that has been
attributed to me this year. Firstly some were definitely due to mistaken
identify, others were when I was falsely accused and rest were down to the cat
(even if we haven’t got one). In truth I have done nothing wrong this year and I
have been as good as gold. I will not lie to you, there is no better dog in the
whole neighbourhood. With this in mind I am asking you to give me the following
for Christmas:-
Squirrels and Treats.
Christmas before last I asked for squirrels and treats.
You sent me an extra large bag of kibble-lite. You know how I hate the devil
food. They are just cardboard masquerading as biscuits. I also got a new dog
bowl which was blue. It should have been pink. Epic FAIL, Santa!
Last year I asked for squirrels and treats. You sent me
another large bag of kibble-lite and a hideous eco-friendly dog jumper in Tango
Orange. It didn’t fit and I hated it. Another epic FAIL Santa!
This year I am asking for squirrels and treats. No kibble-lite,
no bowls or jumpers and NO ECO-FRIENDLY stuff. Just squirrels and treats. I
will remind you dear Santa that if you fail to meet my most urgent requests I
will hunt you down and bite your ankles. I will chase Rudolph, Dasher, Dancer,
Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donder, and Blitzen all the way from Pole to Pole
and bite their tails. I will pee and poop in the Elves shoes. You won’t get any
mince pies or sherry and the silly reindeer won’t get any carrots. Do I make
myself clear? Don’t make me come all the way to the North Pole now. If I end up
with snow on my paws I will be very, very angry.
PS Red is so not your colour and you are fat. You could
do with some kibbles-lite.
Squirrels and Treats. Capiche!
Best wishes Molly.
I think Santa will get it right this year, don’t you
think?
I hope he gets it right this year. He seems to have a thing about kibble-lite!
ReplyDeleteThat "PS" might have been pushing it a bit! Woof!
Squirels letter to Santa Paws:
ReplyDeletePlease, no more Molly ! LOL
Oh Molly. Molly Molly. Be careful what you wish for! Santa might trick you and get you kibble-lite shaped like squirrels !!!
ReplyDeleteLots of love, from Indigo and Malach
BOL! Guess you just told Santa Paws!
ReplyDeleteLovies, Miss Mindy
I hope Santa does get it right! You deserve lots of gifts! Reminds me, I haven't written my letter yet...
ReplyDeleteCotton
Hmm. You've made it pretty clear, I reckon... Hope Sandy Paws comes
ReplyDelete... Through for you.
ReplyDeleteSquirrels and treats, squirrels and treats, I want some squirrels and treats. Hope the big guy gets it right this year.
ReplyDeleteYour pal, Pip
P.S: I have lots in common with your Pip - I am 15, too!
I certainly hope Santa gets it right if not let me know!! As Mayor I have authority to form a posse!
ReplyDeleteHugs Madi your BFFF
You are very easy to please. Hope Santa gets the message!
ReplyDeleteNow Molly, just where are your manners? We didn't see the word PLEASE in there once! Could that be why Santa ignores your repeated requests for squirrels and treats? Hey, I'm just saying.....
ReplyDeleteHugs,
Lily Belle
Oh Molly Molly! I hope Santa keep you in his priority list and get everything right this year.
ReplyDeleteOh Miz Molly, I think you were VERY CLEAR! And I think Santa will get this message, OH YEAH! This is what I love about you Miss ThANG....you bark your mind!
ReplyDeleteYOU ARE SO HILARIOUS! LOVE YOU! And if Santa does NOT come through this year, I have plenty of squirrels in my yard I could send you and talk about FAT? They are frighteningly HUGE!!!!!! But you can handle them, I know you can!!!!
This has got to be the best ever letter to Santa. LOL! We think HE probably got all those kibble lite for Christmas and gave them to you so he didn't have to eat them. Which shows, doesn't it?
ReplyDeletehahaha Molly - that's a very nice letter to Santa. I hope Santa eats only Kibble-Light - otherwise he get stuck in our poky chimney ;o)
ReplyDeleteI don't know what part of squirrels and treats Santa doesn't understand in your plea....I mean letter, but we will put in a good word for you when we send our letters out to the big guy! :)
ReplyDeleteHaha tell him like it is Molly. Honesty is the best policy after all.
ReplyDeleteMolly, you don't get and squirrels, you give aus a ring, will box us up and ship them right over, we got enough for a years supply and 87 tons left over.
ReplyDeleteOh My, Kibble-lite, you kidding of course!
Your Pals
Susie & Bites
Well that sure told the Red Fat guy..BOL..Hope you get tons of treats and toys Molly xx0xx
ReplyDeleteMollie and Alfie
With a sweet and heart felt letter like that I do not see any reason that you will not get what you asked for.
ReplyDeleteBlessings,
Goose
Provided S.Claus is not insulted by the fat-joke, we imagine there is every reason imaginable that he'll comply with your "request list" this year. Maybe.
ReplyDeleteUhhhh, I thought when we write letters to Santa Paws, we are suppose to kiss up to him...I hope you don't get put on the naughty list!!
ReplyDelete~Higgins
Molly here in iowa we have thousand and trillons of squirrels running all around our yard, my dad feeds them like they are an endangered species...i am sure we could set out a live trap and catch a few for you and ship them on over cos i think after santa reads that little letter you ain't gonna get nothing! lolll.olol....
ReplyDeletestella rose
I don't know Molly...you might get some coal this year instead of kibble light.
ReplyDeleteMaybe you could try a second draft where you tell him how beautiful Mrs. Claus is and how if he gives you some squirrels, you'll catch them up and bake one up to send him?
Just thinking.
Nora
wish i could ship you some of our squirrels!
ReplyDeleteMolly,
ReplyDeleteWe is sure you will get lots of pressies from Santa Paws!
Woofs and Licks,
Maggie Mae and Max
Holy Moly Molly! Remind me not to ever make you mad! I am positive Santa will get it right this year!
ReplyDeleteOh wow! That was scary! I doubt Santa will get it wrong this year (unless he decides to give you coals for what you said), dear Molly. You just threatened him in front of the world.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad I dropped by your blog today. This post is very very hilarious.
Huggies and Cheese,
Haopee
Hahaha, what a great letter to Santa. We hope that doesn't put our gracious Molly on the naughty list,and hopefully Santa will appreciate someone telling him the truth, instead of kissing up! Bol!
ReplyDeleteyour furbuddies, J&P
Molly! Santa won't come if you're naughty! Though.. we're naughty all the time and he still comes..
ReplyDelete~Love, the SugarHighK9s
Dear Molly,
ReplyDeleteHere's the trick - you need to be Good. Actually, really, trully Good. Because the man named Santa is CREEPY and he watches you ALL THE TIME. So he knows if you've been naughty or nice.
You need to be Good for the creepy man! And not bite his ankles, or else it will be diet kibble forever!
Good luck!
Licks,
Cobi
Molly we go directly to Santa and tell him what we want. We have to sit through the picture, but we have yet to get carboard kibble.
ReplyDeleteHowever, Mama did pull out the Santa's watching thing when Katy went to steal my dinner kibble the other night and she took off running. I guess she's more afraid of Santa then we thought.
Oh no! Not the dreaded reindeer antlers! At least that's what we were thinking BEFORE we read your Santa letter. Good for you for making P.E.R.F.E.C.T.L.Y clear your deman....er, wishes and true feelings. You're our hero! Purrs....
ReplyDeleteConsider yourself told Santa, good luck Molly.
ReplyDeleteSheba.
Uh Oh! I'd be afraid to be Santa and get your order wrong!
ReplyDeletehopefully you get squirrels and treats!
Wiggles, Stig
Sheesh, you aren't asking for much, Molly. You would think the jolly old guy could get it right once.
ReplyDeleteWoos - Phantom, Thunder, Ciara, and Lightning
Looks like you snuck up on her and put those antlers on while she was sleeping :)
ReplyDeleteMolly I am writing to Santa straight away to ask him to make sure you get your wishes. Betty x
ReplyDeleteMolly....
ReplyDeleteWe are so with you here. Amen to the no eco friendly treats and toys. They are made of cardboard we think. We hope you get all the squirrels and treats the old fat man can haul in his sleigh.
Good luck.... let us know what kind of a response you receive from him.
hugs, Max, Bugsy and Knuckles
Are you sure that is the best way to get on Santa's good side Molly, LOL!
ReplyDeleteDip Bridge and Elliot x
Molly, we don't think you should have pointed out that he was fat. It might be another year of Kibblelite sans squirrel.
ReplyDeleteXXXOOO Daisy, Bella & roxy
Oh yeah, telling Santa that "red isn't his color and that he is fat" should work like a charm....NOT! lol
ReplyDeleteBWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...oh dear Molly you gots me rollin' in da floor lookin' likes a cookoo bird. Oh dis is just da most splendid letter I has evers read in my whole life.
ReplyDeleteCan you add ber to your letter fur me cuz I gots da feelin' I ain't gettin nuttin.
Puddles
PS Santa really needs to drink more smoothies maybe...and do sumptin' withs dat skeery laugh.
Oh Molly,
ReplyDeleteThere's no sucking up to Santa for you hey?! You're funny!! I've also been asking for my Christmas gift for a few years now, is he not getting the letters? Maybe I should request a read receipt?
Question: So I understand what you'd do with the treats, but what will you do with the Squirrels, just curious!! Tee Hee
Good luck,
Your pal Snoopy :)
É... acho que também vou fazer uma cartinha para o Papai Noel! kkkkkk
ReplyDeleteTomara que ele te atenda viu Molly!
Beijos e linda noite!!!
Oh I think you made yourself very clear and I think you will get many squirrels and treats! Have a great day!
ReplyDeleteWe are not sure we would be that honest Molly
ReplyDeleteBenny & Lily
Hey Molly!
ReplyDeleteOh, BWAR HAR HAR and some more BWAR HAR HAR and even some BOL! Wow, you're such a funny girl. Way to set the record straight and whip that big man into shape. He definitely needed a swift kick in the arse after screwing up your list two years in a row. I mean, it's not a complicated request! If he messes up this year, I say he should be sacked and we will all try working with the Easter Bunny instead. Maybe he's smarter and more able to follow directions.
Grr and a Chuckling Woof,
Sarge, COP
I think you ate something magic and it made you grow antlers.
ReplyDeletelove
tweedles
Although you aren't asking for anything fancy, I don't know how Santa is gonna feel about that last remark!
ReplyDeleteKeep me posted on the squirrels...if you have a squirrel party, count me IN!
; ) Katie
Whoa! someone needs an anger management class for Christmas. Heh heh. It was funny though.
ReplyDeleteAs you know, we have been searching for Santa Paws. When we find him we will state your case and further testify that you are a good and worthy canine who should be rewarded with a multitude of pressies!
ReplyDeleteYour Pals Still Searching for Santa Paws But Have Come Up With An Idea To Be Revealed On Friday,
Murphy & Stanley
Hi Molly,
ReplyDeleteYou'll be lucky to get a stick in your stocking this year, and telling Santa Paws he is fat and red not his colour.....you should re write your letter quickly and tell him it was your evil twin that wrote that one....you should be sweet and less Miss Mafia!
You must've gone to one of the best schools around because your writing skills are impeccable. However, I think it won't please Santa to be told that he is fat and that his treats need to be on the light side. If you get your squirrels it would be a miracle! LOL
ReplyDeleteP.S. I will be sending your Silly Saturday gifts and certificate will be arriving in your mail box soon!
Gosh Molly, I just cannot imagine why Santa would not give you the Christmas presents you want ;)
ReplyDeleteOh Molly, I hate this ears....no way - she tried it every year again....but - only for one second.....Wuff and LG Aiko - the pic is great :-)
ReplyDeleteHope you get truck loads of squirrels and treats:-)
ReplyDelete