Wednesday, 14 November 2012
Slog It Blog It, Life’s Tough When You Are A Spy, Mr.Bond.
10 We start off with the cigarette dart gun. I mean we all know cigarettes can kill but with this one you didn’t even have to smoke it to go and meet a sticky end. From ‘You Only Live Twice’, this brilliant little device discharged a rocket-propelled dart when lit, which then exploded upon impact. Useless these days with smoking being banned in public places but still useful outside. See off those pesky intruders such as squirrels with the cigarette dart gun without having to set a foot outside the backdoor.
9 James Bond’s is famous for two things, stopping baddies and chasing the ladies. One of his favourite gadgets from ‘The World Is Not Enough’ is the x-ray glasses. With these Bond could enjoy a night at the casino whilst checking out the weapons of the baddies and surreptitiously checking out out the lingerie on the gals. So next time you peoples come back with the shopping don’t waste your time checking out the bags. Pop these on and happily scan the contents for treats without moving off the couch thus conserving much needed energy.
8 Bond always knew what was going on once he had discovered the TV-Enabled wristwatch from ‘Octopussy’. Even more practical in the tough covert environment of today! Hook it up to a webcam feed and you will always be one step ahead of the baddies. Whilst checking out the shopping with your x-ray glasses glance at your paw and quickly grab your cigarette dart gun and dispatch any garden intruder in record time. You’ll have plenty of time now for a Martini, stirred with a squirrel paw and topped off with a squirrel eye for garnish.
7 The ‘Golden Gun’ was made up of 5 components, a ballpoint pen (the barrel), cigarette lighter (the chamber), cigarette case (the handle), cuff link (the trigger) and a bullet stored on Scaramanga's belt. Each component was made out of solid gold and could be assembled and disassembled within seconds. Supplied by world famous gunsmith Lazar, he provided Scaramanga with very expensive gold bullets in ‘The Man With The Golden Gun’. The downside is that the weapon only held one bullet, but fortunately, that is all we need to for squirrel target practice.
6 In ‘Goldfinger’ we see the Aston Martin DB5 armed with tire slashers, machine guns, a back shield, rotating license plates and oil slick. Later models came with an invisibility shield, laser weapons, signal-intercepting smart radio, rocket propulsion and even a defribulator. Oh yes and the ejector seat. You must be joking Q! Just what we need for a trip to the shops, or for doing the school run or even a trip to the park for a lark. I am having mine made with additional automatic treat dispenser.
5 We like the rebreather from ‘Thunderball’, a pen sized oxygen cylinder. This small device could be carried on ones person without notice and when in use, held in the mouth to provide 4 minutes of air in emergencies like when the user has to go underwater. The prefect gadget to take when tunnel digging! We all know how dangerous it can be when there is a catastrophic tunnel collapse so take one of these next time you are digging or potholing/spelunking for rabbits.
4 The awesome pawsome jet pack used by Bond when escaping from Duvall in the opening sequence of Thunderball is an ‘uber fav’. Press the button and soar into the air and spy on the vermin with the eye of an eagle. Even better use it to get about, avoiding irksome traffic jams all those red lights. My personal favourite would be using it to levitate in the kitchen area for a bit of counter surfing.
3 Little Nellie was the nickname given to the gyrocopter that ‘Mr.Shaken Not Stirred’ used to spy on a secret enemys’ hideout in the film ‘You Only Live Twice’. Lightweight, and able to fold up into a small space, this is another great way to travel. It’s quiet, and I imagine soaring around with such ease would be well brilliant. Whip out Little Nellie and fly the off to meet your furry friends. No parking tickets, thieves or cops to worry about but watch out for the odd low flying airbus.
2 One of the most amazing is the submersible Lotus Esprit, which my mate James took for a dive while escaping the attentions of the crazy rocket shooting helicopter. From ‘The Spy Who Loved Me’ it is a miracle it worked as you didn't need to go into the sea to get the rear and seats waterlogged. Just leaving it out in the rain was sufficient enough. The glass windows were very poorly sealed and the thing leaked like a sieve. Nevermind, in theory great for us who don’t like rainy days.
1 Saving the best till last there is something in the notion that the simpler the better. Our top selection is the deadly and memorable poisoned shoe spikes as worn by Rosa Klebb in ‘From Russia With Love’. Bond had nothing in his own arsenal quite as lethal or impressive. Even if Lotte Lenya was sufficiently terrifying without them, the whole assemble was enough to give you nightmares. Remember never turn your back on an ageing hotel maid again without checking out the footwear. Less flick knife more flick foot! Perfect for nabbing foodables that have dropped onto the floor first!
Happy Anniversary James Bond and for those who noticed, sorry James the gun said ‘THE SAINT’ but who says I know the meaning of loyalty!