Thursday 20 December 2012

Flog It Blog It, Christmas Downsizing This Year.


It Is A Frugal Christmas For Molly The Wally!

The Twelve Days of Christmas need to be more cost effective.  

The following economic measures are to take place to make ‘The Twelve Days of Christmas’ more cost effective,  

The Partridge will be charged a suitable rent for residing in the pear tree. The rent will be based on current market values of fruit trees based on yield and attractiveness of fruit.

The Two Turtle Doves have spent far too much time cooing and not enough time earning their keep. From now on they will be told that their work based romance will be subject to disciplinary action should it continue.

The Three French Hens will replaced by English ones thus terminating the need for a translator and saving money on their excessive demands for Foie Gras & Champagne.

The Four Calling Birds will be made redundant and the role transferred to a call centre in India. Calls will be charged at a premium rate but we will omit to tell the callers to check with their service providers.

The Five Golden Rings have been sold as the gold price is at an all time high at the moment. They will be replaced by five ‘Coke’ can ring pulls.

The Six Geese-a-Laying will be subject to a productivity test and if it ascertained that the yield of eggs produced is not enough the job will be given to ‘The Three English Hens’ who will have to do both jobs.

The Seven Swans-a-Swimming is a luxury that can no longer be afforded. The swans will be allowed to swim but will be tied to a generator to produced environmentally friendly power source which will be used to power the new milking parlour.

The Eight Maids-a-Milking will be replaced by a state of the art new milking parlour which will operate 24/7 with no need for breaks and thus generating much needed income. 

The Nine Ladies Dancing is a frivolous expense we cannot afford and their contacts will be terminated. The role will be filled by a karaoke machine with light up dance floor. Customers from now on will be expected to dance themselves.    

The Ten Lords-a-Leaping will remain but no longer will they be housed in Stately Homes. The new accommodation will comprise of eco-friendly, energy efficient alternatives, namely a card board box.   

The Eleven Pipers Piping will be sacked for smoking their pipes on the job saving a huge amount in redundancy costs. There will be no alternative and customers will be shown a sign that reads, ‘Silence is Golden’.

The Twelve Drummers Drumming is the cause of a large amount of fines due to noise pollution and therefore their services will no longer be required. A pre-recorded rendition of ‘The Little Drummer Boy’ will be played on a loop continuously.

We expect a substantial reduction in running costs and a well needed injection of profit from the various incentives we have introduced. Next we will look at the excessive use of the ho ho hos by Santa and will be requesting a significant cut back forthwith. The number of reindeer will slimmed down and elves will be forced to work in a sweatshop in the South Pole where costs are cheaper.
Yours Sincerely The Christmas Grinch. 



We got an award from Milo over at Milos Life Story!. 






And these awards from Easy over at Easy Weimaraner!

We say a big warm thank you to Milo & Easy. We will pop it on our award page with pride. We love all our awards as it means you think of us. We are always touched by you kindness Blogville.

39 comments:

  1. The savings will be tremendous! Thanks for getting rid of those drummers, they always gave us a headache.

    Purrs,
    Cindi Lou & The Kitty Krew

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  2. We like your version of the song, very true

    urban hounds

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  3. Love the Indian call center, yes I have had my dealings with them, over the last few weeks..lol Have a funtaztic Furzday Molly xx00xx

    Mollie and Alfie

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  4. Oh my, we love the one about the 4 calling birds moving to the call center in India! That was just way toooooo funny Molly.

    Hugs,
    Lily Belle & Muffin

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  5. That song just got shoved right over the fiscal cliff....huh..

    XXXOOO Daisy, Bella & Roxy

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  6. Too funny Molly...mom read many years ago the cost of the gifts in 12 Days of Christmas would cost approximately $120,000. We love your take on the song
    Hugs Madi

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  7. Those are great ways to save money! Have a great day. Lee and Phod

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  8. BOL! Talk about frugality! This sure takes the cake! (no eating it either! BOL)
    Lovies, Miss Mindy

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  9. Congrats on the awards Miss Molly. That Christmas Grinch just scared the bejeepers out of us!! We hope he doesn't come visiting at our house!
    Wally & Sammy

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  10. This economy causes even the Grinch to cut back LOL!!!!

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  11. Partridge, did someone say partridge? We would be happy to take care of those! teehee

    the brown dawgs

    Congrats on your awards!

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  12. OH GOOD... all this SAVINGS can be re-appropriated for SNACKS and TOYS.

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  13. Lol now that sounds like a plan Molly! One thing I've realized about this song while creating my version with all you animal friends is that these people sure do love their fowl! And servants with strange tasks...

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  14. If my "true love" delivered that load, I'd be rethinking the relationship. I think the Christmas Grinch is in cahoots with Scrooge! :-D

    Susan and Wrigs

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  15. The savings will be huge!
    Blessings,
    Goose

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  16. Hmmmm, maybe our President and his Congress could take a page from this change:) We LOVED it.

    Woos - Phantom, Thunder, Ciara, and Lightning

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  17. A lot of dough sure will be saved thanks to Molly
    Benny & Lily

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  18. OMD Molly, that should have happened a long time ago, thats a great savings and really like the Geese hooked to a generator. Got some ideas for all the squirrels around here!!!

    Your Pals
    Susie & Bites

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  19. Hi Molly, things have'nt got that bad, down at Dogton Abbey they have never heard of pot noddle or credit crunch!

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  20. TOO funny! The mommy's snickering loudly over this!!

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  21. What will you do w/ all the money saved from these reductions/changes?

    Congrats on the awards! You definitely deserve them!

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  22. That's just great ...can you send me the unemployed 3 french Hens? I would have a good job for them... ;o)

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  23. Yup, budget cuts! We all have to deal with it eventually - BOL!

    Merry Christmas Pal!

    Murphy & Stanley

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  24. I was following along real close-like ... until I saw the cupcakes. Then I kinda forgot about everything else.
    Woo.
    Cupcakes!
    Luv,
    DAve

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  25. Gosh Molly I suppose cutbacks are unavoidable but it does seem a shame to charge the old partridge for posing in the pear tree - it reminds me of the Aesopp fable where the old man rewards the street vendor for the smell of his cooking with the sound his money when asked to pay for sniffing!

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  26. Congrats on the awards and I love, love, love your 12 days of Christmas!!

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  27. congrats on your awards, dear molly!

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  28. Brilliant!!
    From the state of this country we find that completely plausible, LOL.
    Congrats on your awards, you deserve them.
    Dip Bridge and Elliot x

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  29. BOL!!! Molly you have the best imagination!

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  30. What a hoot, the cutbacks are fabulous like you Molly. Have a great night.

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  31. You're right, Molly! Santa needs to reduce the Ho Hos this year! Send my love to The Grinch!
    Licks from Pink

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  32. Drat!! We have always enjoyed a good Partridge in a Pear Tree :(
    Guess we have been reduced to a squirrel in a pine tree!

    Wyatt and Stanzie

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  33. Dear Molly,

    Alternately you and I could have a feast - partridge, turtle dove, hens, milk and eggs... Sounds pawesome! That would save on Dog food, and also on the cost of maintaining all those birds! And the milking girl. She can go too.

    Let me know when to show up for the feast.

    Licks,
    Cobi

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  34. HAH! This sounds like it was written by the Republicans in the US House of Representatives! Jolly good show!

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  35. Hello, so nice to meet you Molly the Wally!

    We are really excited about the upcoming guest blog, I will pop over to Diane's Kitchen Table to say thanks too! Our nomination for next sunday... Hands on Bowie over at: http://hopedog.wordpress.com

    Looking forward to getting to know you better and watching LOTS more Dogton Abbey!

    Kathryn & The Lonely Dogs

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  36. How funny! Freedom, Casper, Nikki & Twinkie wanted to come over and say "Thank You!" for your sweet Christmas card. We will be giving our official count soon. We're also Downton Abbey fans and looking forward to the new season. Happy Holidays!

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  37. Sounds like a good frugal plan Molly and congrats on your awards! :) I think a karaoke machine and making customers dance themselves is a great idea!

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