Had I the heavens' embroidered cloths,
Enwrought with golden and silver light,
The blue and the dim and the dark cloths
Of night and light and the half-light,
I would spread the cloths under your feet:
But I, being poor, have only my dreams;
I have spread my dreams under your feet,
Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.
So she who must be obeyed ignored went to do some shopping and left me home alone for like 87 gazillion hours. On her return she dropped the shopping on the floor and raced upstairs to the toilet. Well what was a dog to do? A quick game of Supermaket Sweep was in order I say. So snooping into the bag I located a bag of mince and without a second thought I fangtastically managed to get a couple of mouthfuls before I heard the ominous sound of footsteps descending down the stairs. So I rushed straight to my hidey hole behind the sofa. It wasn't long before I heard her call to arms... the shrieking of the word MOLLY at a pitch that could crack the glass in the cockpit of a low flying passenger jet. Then there were the very unladylike HBO words followed by slamming of kitchen cupboards and the like. It later transpired that
Tear + Weight Of Meat + Gravity = Meat On Kitchen Floor
Now I cannot understand why she served me cooked mince for several meals later accompanied by mumblings, dirty looks and the banging of my dinner bowl. Less of a happy meal more of one delivered with menace in her yes. Sadly you just can't get good staff these. Have you ever snuffled something good before your peeps realised? Have a marvellous Monday and do try to snuffle a mouthful of something good today.