Had I the heavens' embroidered cloths,
Enwrought with golden and silver light,
The blue and the dim and the dark cloths
Of night and light and the half-light,
I would spread the cloths under your feet:
But I, being poor, have only my dreams;
I have spread my dreams under your feet,
Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.
Molly The Wally Brings You Her Top Ten Japanese Beauty Gadgets!
Yesterday we gave you snacks and today continuing our visit to the land of the rising sun we bring you beauty Japanese style of course!
How about the 'Beauty Nose'? Wear
one of these for five minutes a day and you will have a more pointy nose. Wear
it too much and you will look like Witchy Poo! You may also find that you can't
smell anything, it hurts and you look daft. Nevermind the fact that people
might ask you why you have a plastic butterfly on the end of your nose? Hmmm
you can try this at home with a clothes peg!
If you are feeling flush why not upgrade to the' Beauty Lift High Nose'? This gives off electric vibrations which will help create
the perfect profile. You need to wear
this for three minutes a day. Not only does it cover half your face like something out of
Aliens or a gruesome torture device the electrical buzzing will keep yesterdays’
wasp biscuits at the forefront of your mind all day, just when you thought
you’d forgotten about them.
What about the Mejikara
Anti-Wrinkle glasses? Made out of silicone these goggles are supposed to apply
gentle pressure on the skin pushing those sagging eyes back up to where they
once were!" Cheaper than Botox and you can always wear them when you are
driving and pretend you are ‘Joe 90’.
Why not go out and purchase the ‘Beauty Voice Trainer’? It is a mouthpiece that trains your voice to maximize
your full vocal potential while singing. Great for preparing for that karaoke
night and when not in use can double up as an adult dummy.
One for Hannibal Lecter here! We bring you the 'Kogao Smile Lines Face Belt'.
Keep those smile wrinkles away
from your face. It comes in a nice pink and grey combo. Clearly designed for
women but we are sure men can enjoy its professed benefits too. More effective
and cheaper don’t smile in the first place. This can be easily achieved by
chewing on a wasp biscuit.
Fans of Iron Maiden, collectors of armour or members of
‘The Spanish Inquisition’ will love this device. The ‘Akaishi Aluminum Facial
Spa’ offers a steam facial in the comfort of your own home. So much better than
just putting your face over a steaming bowl of hot water. When you are finished
using it just give it a quick rinse to clean it! Avoid cleaning it in a washing
machine or dish washer.Only side- effect is you
look like you've escaped from a mental asylum or the set of Dr.Who.
No, these are not straight out of a packet of ‘Liquorice
Allsorts’! For those of us who love a
workout you can now do it in front of the TV with the ‘Lower Stomach Beauty
Trainer’. Rolling your legs back and forth, twisting your waistline, is
probably really great for your body. Oink oink the exercise cushion looks like
a pigs’ nose. Who wants to put their feet in Miss Piggys’ nostrils? A real
If you work at a desk all day and fear the butt spread
then invest in the ‘Beauty Bottom Shaping Cushion’. This chair cushion will ensure
that your bottom muscles become taut whilst it sculpts, tightens and tones. Just
what your average couch potato needs. Now you can work-out whilst chilling out.
Edward Scissor Hands eat your heart out! Wow those
inventive people at Akaishi have been at it again! Now they bring you the
‘Akaishi Facial Massager’. Would pushing tiny rollers along your face combat
sagging and wrinkles? We don’t think so.
Using four extensions and eight rollersthis great
design fits the facial curves perfectly. Use for ten minutes at a time for a
younger face but be careful you don’t poke your eyes out.
And lastly we have the only useful gadget we could find.
We bring you the ‘Rhythm Slim Chin Muscle Exerciser’. They say that signs of
ageing are most visible on the neck and hands so just use the chin pump. Squeeze
the pump for up to three minutes a day and watch those wrinkles disappear. Pop it under the chin of the old man when he
is watching TV and he will never fall asleep and start snoring during your
favourite program again. Great for those boring meetings! Told you at last we
found a gadget that was useful. From the land of the rising sun, have a great