Thursday, 28 March 2013
Bog Blog, Terrifying Triangles.
You may not be aware but I suffer from allergic reactions to any foodables that are green or triangular in shape. Yes like Her Majesty who has the corners removed from her cucumber sandwiches I have to insist that my
servant people never serve me anything in that shape. This I can
report came about after I consumed a rather large amount of stolen Dairylea cheese triangles and was promptly
sick. Thus I have to say I agree with half baked Essex County Council who have
banned triangular treats at Castle View School on Canvey Island. This has come about after a
pupil was hit in the eye by a triangular flapjack during a lunchtime food
fight. Dinner ladies at the school were told to cut
flapjacks into squares or rectangles from now on. Errh have squares and rectangles not got
corners too? Are they getting into a flap about nothing? Parents are now
wondering what other potentially lethal foodstuffs may be banned from the school
on account of their shape? One parent wonder if carrot batons will
be prohibited from now on and another suggested it was bad news for broccoli
spears. That will be a ban on Doritos too I guess? I have heard everything now.
Get out the round pastry cutter out Aunty! This is not the first time flapjacks have been
banned for being a dangerous. The Education Secretary, Michael Gove, was
stopped from taking flapjacks (given to him by his wife) into a cabinet meeting
in 2011. He was detained by security at the time and told the flapjacks were a
security risk and they were promptly apprehended. Oh and I did check the calendar
and no it is not April Fools’ Day yet. Talk about taking the biscuit!