Thursday 28 March 2013

Bog Blog, Terrifying Triangles.


Molly The Wally Blogs From The Bog!


Half Baked Essex County Council have banned triangular treats!


You may not be aware but I suffer from allergic reactions to any foodables that are green or triangular in shape. Yes like Her Majesty who has the corners removed from her cucumber sandwiches I have to insist that my servant people never serve me anything in that shape. This I can report came about after I consumed a rather large amount of stolen  Dairylea cheese triangles and was promptly sick. Thus I have to say I agree with half baked Essex County Council who have banned triangular treats at Castle View School on Canvey Island. This has come about after a pupil was hit in the eye by a triangular flapjack during a lunchtime food fight. Dinner ladies at the school were told to cut flapjacks into squares or rectangles from now on. Errh have squares and rectangles not got corners too? Are they getting into a flap about nothing? Parents are now wondering what other potentially lethal foodstuffs may be banned from the school on account of their shape? One parent wonder if carrot batons will be prohibited from now on and another suggested it was bad news for broccoli spears. That will be a ban on Doritos too I guess? I have heard everything now. Get out the round pastry cutter out Aunty! This is not the first time flapjacks have been banned for being a dangerous. The Education Secretary, Michael Gove, was stopped from taking flapjacks (given to him by his wife) into a cabinet meeting in 2011. He was detained by security at the time and told the flapjacks were a security risk and they were promptly apprehended. Oh and I did check the calendar and no it is not April Fools’ Day yet. Talk about taking the biscuit!

45 comments:

  1. I has NO problem withs broccoli bein' banned but Doritoes...OMD...OMD...NOOOOOOOOO! Whats' next? Cheetos????
    I not very good at geometry but I ain't an idiot and squares do has corners.

    Puddles

    ReplyDelete
  2. Reminds HER of John Cleese giving the lesson in defense of fruit wielding muggers....bananas, grapes....etc. I suppose round flat objects sent spinning could decapitate a fellow classmate. Better ban those, too.

    XXXOOO Daisy, Bella & Roxy

    ReplyDelete
  3. In these parts they only worry about certain food shapes. Say a pop-tart which happened to be nibbled into the shape of a gun. Who knew even a triangle could cause real injuries? lol

    ReplyDelete
  4. MOL. No more Doritos for you, Mommy!

    ReplyDelete
  5. BOL Molly you're lookin rather constipated there Hahahhahahha! OMD.

    The Queen really cuts the corners off her sandwiches??? Too funny!

    Waggin at ya,
    Roo

    ReplyDelete
  6. Molly
    Whatever you do...never ever come to visit us. Why you ask? Well our section of North Carolina is called the
    Triangle area which is made up of Raleigh, Durham and Chapel Hill. Where 3 of the largest universities are located and a lot of think tank corporations.
    MOL
    Hugs well rounded Madi your BFFF

    ReplyDelete
  7. Interesting location for you photo today Molly...are you trying to tell us something? I have to wonder how overcooked those 'flapjacks' were for one to be considered dangerous, triangle-shaped or not...Mine are generally pretty soft...Maybe in Great Britain you cook them differently?

    ReplyDelete
  8. Oh no, not the dreaded triangle! We can surely see that one could get an eye poke from those sharp corners.

    Nice picture Molly! Are you trying to tell us something?

    Hugs,
    Lily Belle & Muffin

    ReplyDelete
  9. Are you certain no one slipped you a poison laced treat? They might have been playing a cruel joke...like chocolate laxative filled brownies. ;-)

    ReplyDelete
  10. Hmmm that is odd, perhaps there was a flaw with the flapjacks. Ive made brittish flapjacks before but never cut then in triangles I made squares so I guess thats ok

    urban hounds

    ReplyDelete
  11. teeeheeeeee! THANK YOU for warning me that April Fools is JUST around the corner, Miz Molly! I best keep my eye on you, for you are liable to slip us a real trick!

    Hugs to you precious Molly. Anita

    ReplyDelete
  12. Yikes Molly, allergic to food stuffs is not a fun thing!

    ReplyDelete
  13. Essex County Council sounds like a bunch of political nuts cases, typical of all world wide useless politicans.

    Your Pals
    the Mad Scots

    ReplyDelete
  14. That must have been one stiff and hard and tough flapjack to cause damage and such an uproar. CRAZY! People are just crazy.
    Blessings,
    Goose

    ReplyDelete
  15. I had to look up what flapjacks were like in your country because over here it is another name for pancakes which are very floppy and couldn't poke anyone's eye out.

    Millie

    ReplyDelete
  16. This reminds our mom of the time she was substitute teaching in a nearby district. When lunch time came they had Tomato Soup and "GRILLED" cheese Sandwiches... the kids started THROWING the Sandwiches and one actually BROKE A WINDOW beclaws they were so HARD. Must have been like BONES.
    BUTT we gotta agree with everybuddy else... Squares and rectangles DO HAVE corners. What were those peeps thinking???

    ReplyDelete
  17. Oh Molly you do not look happy no that toilet bowl. I don't like my greens either.

    ReplyDelete
  18. The only way to be safe is to eat round food. Orb shaped. Even a disk has corners because of it's thickness. You can poke someones eye out with a slice of cucumber.
    The next problem to solve is what to do if someone creates a sharp object by using part of the food. An orange is a safe food, until you separate the sections. Then you have deadly, sharp arcs of danger!
    These are some serious problems.

    I hope you know you have to lift the lid before using the toilet....

    ReplyDelete
  19. OH my! Mom will be cooking french toast on Sunday. We must tell her to make it round, not square so as not to endanger the little grandpeeps that will be coming over to eat. Thanks for the heads up Molly, we did not know that foodables could be so dangerous. BWAHA HA
    hugs
    Bailey, Hazel & Greta

    ReplyDelete
  20. I guessed it, the pieces of cheesecake are triangular too :o) Now I know why this bad things happened to me :o) Have a wonderful thursday ... maybe with onion-RINGS?

    ReplyDelete
  21. I love greens and Flapjacks :) We all behind Molly, compawter blew up yesterday xx00xx

    Mollie and Alfie

    ReplyDelete
  22. Pretty soon we will all have to walk around in plastic bubbles (like a hamster!) in order to fend off all the dangers this world seems to throw at us!

    ReplyDelete
  23. Pffft, why don't they just put everyone in a box filled with cotton wool so we will never be in danger again :)
    Dip Bridge and Elliot x

    ReplyDelete
  24. Wishing a very good weekend Molly. We hope you have plenty of good foodables.

    Molly, Taffy, Monty and Winnie

    Pee S. Mum has added you to the auction if you are interested, it is a global affair!!

    ReplyDelete
  25. Well, what next?!? I bet they soon ban these triangle shaped food-stuffs: pizza slices, Toblerone chocolates, turnovers, watermelon slices, scones and candy corn. Good grief!

    ReplyDelete
  26. Carrot batons???? Hmmm, not a bad idea, maybe a new weapon we can use against those pesky squirrels.

    Woos - Phantom, Thunder, Ciara, and Lightning

    ReplyDelete
  27. Oh no! That is not good! So many tasty triangles out there!

    ReplyDelete
  28. Triangles are dangerous. You should stick to eating star shaped foods. Those would never poke your eye out :)

    ReplyDelete
  29. I never heard about flapjacks before, but I searched on Google and found even a picture of them! So I think these things could be dangerous if the fall on your feet too! It is incredible how many funny stories you tell us, dear Molly!
    Love
    Arno

    ReplyDelete
  30. Dairylea triangles are the best ;)
    Love the picture Molly- you know how to use that?!

    SLobbers

    ReplyDelete
  31. Oh boy...what next? Great pic of you, even if you ARE on the toilet...

    Have a wonderful Easter!

    Elyse and Riley

    ReplyDelete
  32. Good grief! Don't those people have anything better to do???

    ReplyDelete
  33. *nods wisely* oh yes, we've heard about the dangers of flapjacks - uh-huh. (snicker)

    ReplyDelete
  34. If anyone has any ice cream that is the wrong shape we will dispose of it for you!

    Your Pals,

    Murphy & Stanley

    ReplyDelete
  35. I am a big fan of round food. With round no one gets hurt. Good to know your decision makers are as twisted as ours in the States.

    ReplyDelete
  36. We thinks maybe these people have a little too much time on their hands. Our Mama brought home some new kibble the other day and it is little squares. We heard her tell Daddy it was good for us. But if the squares are broken they could be triangle shaped. That would be dangerous! We're gonna tell mama we want our bad for us food back.

    Purrs,
    Cindi Lou & The Kitty Krew

    ReplyDelete
  37. I saw that you didn't like triangles, but wasn't sure why yet lol. I thought maybe it had something to do with their use as evil demonic symbolism by the illuminati ;) Funny, my daughter's school has banned the children from sitting on any of the benches around the campus because one of the children stuck their finger in a hole (they are holey benches) and it got stuck. Now there is yellow caution tape on all of the benches.

    ReplyDelete
  38. We think they should ban throwing food . . . that may be safest! lee and Phod

    ReplyDelete
  39. We don't ban food here, but perhaps when they have taken away everything we can defend ourselves with we can use square flapjacks. :-)

    ReplyDelete
  40. BOL we heard about that on the radio - craziness!

    ReplyDelete
  41. The simple solution would be to have all the students wear safety glasses. ;-) Humans sure come up with some crazy stuff, don't they?

    Wrigs would love to attend a food fight!

    Susan and Wrigs

    ReplyDelete
  42. Hi Molly,

    Its health and safety back at work again, nice work if you can get it, whatever will they think of next....pizzas as they can be used as a deadly weapons of mass destruction!

    ReplyDelete