Thursday, 14 March 2013

Flog it Blog It, Food For Your Mood!


Molly The Wally & Her Bic Pen For Her Review!


Hilarious Amazon Food Reviews. A dead Rabbit and Tuscan milk!



Today we thought we’d have a look at a topic close to our hearts, food. Now that many of you have your own credit cards we thought we’d give you a couple of items you might want to purchase and of course some serious customer reviews from Amazon.






Fresh Whole Rabbit


By XXX
I know what it is like to be a feral dog!
Like many suburban homeowners, I like to kill and eat the wild animals that populate my backyard. To keep it sporting, I hunt naked, with my teeth and long sharpened fingernails as my only weapons. I've feasted on squirrel, raccoon, vole and numerous songbirds. But no matter how long I lay spread eagle and motionless in the hot noonday sun, I have never been able to outwit and catch any of the plump and juicy rabbits that hop just outside my reach and then bolt for the woods when I leap forward with a blood-curdling shriek. I have chased them at a dead run through the yards of the many unoccupied homes that surround mine but the pursuit always ends in frustration. But no more, thanks to Amazon. Every week, I order a fresh whole rabbit and affix it to a remote control car that is operated by one of my children. This way, I get the thrill of the hunt, and when the car's batteries are exhausted, I can leap upon it, bury my teeth into the rabbit's soft flesh and perform my ritual victory dance right there in the Walgreen's parking lot. 

By XXX
On Buying A Gift!
I always buy gifts on Amazon, and am usually not disappointed. My son said that he wanted a rabbit for his 5th birthday, but started crying when I gave this to him. I'm not sure what his issue was, as this was high-quality meat. I can only assume he was disappointed that it wasn't larger.



By XXX
Lenny liked it!
As Lenny sat on the hillside, we could hear the dogs baying in the distance. He looked across the fields with that big goofy grin of his and said "Tell me about the Tuscan Whole Milk again, George"! So I shot him.


By XXX
Ode to Tuscan Whole Milk!


Because I could not stop for milk,
It kindly came to me.
I ordered it through Amazon,
Whole milk; sweet Tuscany.

The driver, though, he knew no haste,
No Expediter, he!
The wait: Four days, and weekend, too.
It seemed eternity.

My milk, it passed through NYC
Where traffic snarled in rings,
Slow past the fields of grazing cows
Who nodded knowingly.

Its expiration date passed, too;
And though the truck was chill,
Vile germs digested lactose sweet
And had their gruesome fill.

It paused before my house at last,
(By USPS Ground)
My gallon jug; 128 ounce
Though oddly swollen `round.

My joy is dashed! My hope denied!
Alas, milk lacks the power
To strive towards immortality:
My Tuscan milk's gone sour. 



Speaking of things Tusacn we have a book to pass on. Todo In Tuscany was sent to us by the wonderful Misaki (here) last Christmas. 



We pick day 3 from last week and comment number 23. That means the book goes to........Something Wagging! We will pop in the post and if you could be so kind as to pass it on when you have finished.

44 comments:

  1. Love the milk poem and you looking so adorable Molly..Have a wonderful Thursday, suns got his hat on :) xx00xx

    Mollie and Alfie

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  2. Perhaps local milk, though more expensive...might be better in the long run.

    XXXOOO Daisy, Bella & roxy

    years ago, when SHE was in New Caledonia, there was a freezer full of rabbits...fur on in the grocery story. There were a few pigeons and other birds as well.

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  3. OMD I can see that bunny on the car zoomin around your house right now Molly BOL! I think I'd destroy the house tryin to catch it - nekked style of course ;P

    Waggin at ya,
    Roo

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  4. Well I sure love that top photo, its too cute for words

    urban hounds

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  5. teeeeheee.....I can ALWAYS depend on you Miz M. for a laugh, a guffaw, a spitting up of my beverage to start the morning!

    HEY..you would have a feast out here, let me tell you. We have some fat rabbits in our yard, but they are fast. You would be frustrated, for they are darling, plump and would make a grand civet au lapin.

    As far as the Tuscan milk...anything goes these days, doesn't it? YOU ARE JUST LOVELY in that pose with the pressie! HUGS SWEET MIZ MOLLY!

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  6. MOL Molly OMDs you look pretty in pink all you need!!
    We cracked up at your ode to Tuscan milk
    Hugs Madi your BFFF

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  7. BWHahahahahahahahah....just love the poem! And it's probably very true!

    Hap-Pee Turds-Day!

    :)

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  8. Oh congrats to them! Rabbit season? I though it was duck season?!?

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  9. The poem was oh so great!
    Blessings,
    Goose

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  10. "On buying a gift" made us laugh, nasty as it was. Hahaha.
    Love the milk poem too. ;)

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  11. Oh boyoboy.
    Glad my dogs don't have credit cards and know about Amazon...

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  12. We thought bunnies were for bringing us candy not eating....????????? Mom has kept us in the dark about many things, thinking for letting us know the truth....remember we also feed the tree rats each and everyday.
    stella rose and mags

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  13. You gotta love the amazon reviews.....is that a toilet roll hat you are wearing?

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  14. Truly love your pinky lady look, Molly!

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  15. Those reviews were a hoot Molly! Congrats to the book winner!!!

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  16. THAT is a FUNNY POEM... WE love Rabbits... they leave us the nicest Pressies in the grass. I used to have two bunny furends... butt they both went to the ROAD... I miss them.

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  17. An ode to milk, you don't see that every day!
    Dip Bridge and Elliot x

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  18. OK, Molly, you just made me not want to catch rabbits for the day!

    Your Pals
    Susie & Bites

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  19. I think so, the son was disappointed that the rabbit wasn't larger ... yeah that was the reason hahahaha. My fav at amazon was a review about an office chair : not good- got haemorrhoid ;o) Have a wonderful wednesday and don't forget to order a rabbit ;o) (one for me too please, but a large one)

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  20. Yes! I love hunting rabbits!

    nora

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  21. Hey Molly!
    Wow, I gotta get my Peeps into this Amazon thingy RIGHT AWAY! I never get rabbit...ever. Lots of chipmunks and moles, but never a rabbit. That milk poem made my whole pack giggle! BOL to the sour side of life.
    Grr and a Giggling Woof,
    Sarge, COP

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  22. BTW: Did you know you still have your curlers in? Just checkin.

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  23. Oh Molly, what a funny - but very smart Pic of you. Molly is very lazy looking in the chair. I love to chase rabbits but never want to get it by Amazon....That´s a joke - isn´t it?
    Have a great restthursday - here the weather don´t know the right season...The weather god thinks: Thats my first winter - after that first winter - the second winter and some weeeeeeeks later starts spring only some days ;-)
    Wuff and LG
    Aiko

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  24. That poem was very funny!

    We hate to admit it, but we are great rabbit hunters and have had great success with the smaller ones. Mom has tried everything to deter us but she has had no luck. She is wondering what your rabbits do that ours don't.

    Woos - Phantom, Thunder, Ciara, and Lightning

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  25. Some of us didn't get past the rabbit....
    Toodle pip!
    Bertie.

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    Replies
    1. PS I thought the poem was great, and Gail says she's sure that if Emily Dickinson had been able to shop on Amazon she would have been less preoccupied by death....

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  26. You find the funniest stuff Mollie. Lee and Phod

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  27. I wonder how the feral dog was able to get a computer lol

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  28. HA Ha too funny! And how nice of you to pass on a good book!
    hugs
    Bailey,Hazel & Greta

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  29. Wow! Those are some twisted comments! Good rule of thumb: don't buy refrigerated items from Amazon. :-D

    Susan and Wrigs

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  30. You are a crack up. Gotta keep trying for those juicy rabbits
    Snorts,
    Benny & Lily

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  31. I will not be letting my bunny read this post ;)

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  32. Dear Molly, hello it's nice to meet a fellow chase-furry-animal fan. Are you by any chance a roadkill connoisseur as well? I am awfully impressed that you have three blogs! Your Typist must be very hardworking. I also saw the picture of you in your old post with your big white teeth, goggly eyes and bloody heart. My god! You are magnificent! Hooroo for now! X

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  33. That milk poem is too funny. And I love love love the pic of you in your curlers! You're so cute, Molly!

    (Have you read the reviews of the banana slicer? Also hysterical.)

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  34. I want a rabbit too!! But not the life one, just soft plump and plushie kind!

    Huggies and Cheese,

    Haopee

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  35. Grrreat poem!
    And the rabbit is adorable!
    Take care
    Kisses and hugs
    Lorenza

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  36. You are a regular poet!! Did you ever catch a rabbit?

    Your Pals,

    Murphy & Stanley
    Online Doods

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  37. Nothing like a good poem about milk!
    Luv,
    DAve

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  38. Sorry I missed this, something weird has happened to my subscription so I haven't been getting your blog posts:-( But hopefully I've sorted it out now.
    Thanks for passing the book on!

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  39. ut-oh, someone better head Bunny Jean Cook off at the pass before she reads this! MOL!

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  40. Hi Molly,The rabbit is far too cut,I couldn't eat a whole one. love the poem about the Tuscan Milk. Less dairy more bacterial war fare!

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